I Feel like My Hearts Broken - Death & Dying Message Board

daisye14 · 11-29-2004, 06:12 AM

Hi everybody I feel like I am going crazy now and hoping someone can help.I just lost my grandmother three weeks ago.I was sooo close to her closer then I am with my mother, she was always there for me emotionally and she was always so proud of me its like we had this very special connection I cant even explain.I would visit her every week since I was born and I am 25 yrs old now, I got very close to her three years sgo when she was diagnosed with dementia(sp?)and in this past year I was basicly her caretaker because my stepdad had a bad accident and my mom needed to be with him so 2 to 3 times a week I would care for nana.I just feel like it happened so fast, just 4 months ago we had to place her in a nursing home, she always lived on her own with the help of my mom and I taking her food shopping, docters, out to dinner or wherever every week.Anyways I am sorry my post is so long and scattered thats just my brain now I guess.I just feel when she died 3 wks ago a big part of me went with her and my heart feels crushed I cant stop crying even now tears fall down my face.She was my best friend and truly the most amazing woman and she loved me so much always bragging about me.How will I ever move on, I am so depressed now and I am getting pains in my chest and my heart feels heavy.Also I cant sleep at night and when I do I have awful dreams about her.Thanks for listening, take care.

daisye14 · 11-29-2004, 05:16 PM

Ok does anyone have any advise please.Even just a little will help thanks

crisma · 11-29-2004, 08:17 PM

It is really tough losing someone you love so much! I think you are just going through the natural mourning of losing someone so close. It is the hardest thing you will ever do! I wish you well and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Ruth6:11 · 11-30-2004, 06:12 AM

I had a Grandma that I spent alot of time with... She even lived just one street over and I was always there. She died of Congestive Heart Failure when I was 19.
I'm 50 now and I still miss her and she is still in my heart. You don't ever really get OVER a loss of someone so special, but Time can roll them up inSIDE your heart and they stay there very comfortably until you do see them again.
Also, my Grandma Ruth is my Guardian Angel.
Not everyone believes in them, but she's there for me even if I can't reach out and hug her...
You're not alone - ever. Those we love are out there cheering us on in life.
My Dad has joined my Grandma now, I miss their hugs but I never ever doubt that the love we shared is still there.

daisye14 · 12-01-2004, 12:13 AM

Dear Ruth thank you so much for your response, I know I will always hurt but every day hopefully it will get a little bit better.I know my nana is my guardian angle too she used to be such a good hearted catholic who prayed for me every day.She is my idle. She was so gifted in touching people's hearts,indepedent(lived on her own untill she was 89)beautiful, she truly looked like a little doll and so fiesty lol.I know your never ready for this I mean her health was good until she fell and broke her hip then she caught phnemonia(sp?)and just a couple days later she passed.I just wish I could have one more day with her even an hour or a minute.Anyways thanks so much for your kind words."hugs"Kelley.