Sometimes things get rough - Death & Dying Message Board

cryingskies · 12-09-2004, 09:04 AM

Sometimes things get rough
and I get a little blue
these eyes have shed so many tears
and most were over you
I can remember the exact moment
when I found out you were dead
and all these crazy images
danced inside my head
I wanted it to be a dream
but I was wide awake
it cut through my heart
like a butcher knife in a cake
what do you do,
when a cop comes to the door
and says he found your friend
but that his heart will beat no more
I had no reaction
I didnt even scream
it was almost like a movie
or a really bad dream
but it was real
because here I am today
thinking of all the things
I never got to say
And you're long gone
I never got a goodbye
althou my lips hold your last kiss
these tired blue eyes still cry
I long for the day
when I can finally see your face
im going to find you one day
no matter how long it takes
then my heart will truly smile
and there wont be anymore fakes
i just play that nite over
in my mind and my soul
but its tearing me all apart
my hearts got a huge hole
I need to let you go
because I cant go on this way
but you will always be in my heart
forever there to stay.

I write poetry to let out my feelings, I have a hard time doing it any other way.....

tintx · 12-09-2004, 11:48 AM

Crying Skies,
I'm glad you posted your poem, and I hope you'll keep writing and that it helps lighten your grief.
Tintx

cryingskies · 12-09-2004, 03:09 PM

Thank you, I guess the only thing I know to do is write poetry. I love to write, but I guess I just wish I had someone to talk to that would maybe understand how I feel. I hate to wake up each and everyday knowing that I can never smile with my best friend again and it's all my fault. He's dead because of me, and I'm still living, its not fair. I couldnt go to his viewing, his funeral nothing. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there so bad, because I loved him, I still love him, and I never said goodbye. But his mother, whom he hated told me I wasnt allowed to be there and that if I would come there I would be escorted out by the police. I was with him the last nite he lived. I am the last person his lips ever kissed, and I am the last person he ever said I love you to. Yet still I couldnt even go say Goodbye. I dunno. I'm sorry for rambling. ...~chrissy~

tintx · 12-11-2004, 12:24 PM

Chrissy,
Sorry to hear you could not attend the funeral, but I'm glad you got to be with your beloved on his last night. Why do you say his death was your fault?
Tintx