Does anyone know any support groups I can contact? - Death & Dying Message Board

becca1024 · 12-13-2004, 03:22 AM

Hi. My sister just lost her baby about two months ago. Since then she has been lifeless, and she justs sits around the house crying or staring out the window. Up until a few days ago she wouldn't even get out of bed except to eat and to use the bathroom. Her doctor put her on anti-depressants. My other sister and I have tried being supportive, and we literally had to drag her out of bed one day and made her go outside. She became almost hysterical and wouldn't stop crying. I am having a hard enough time accepting Nathans death myself, but I am more worried about her. Did we do the wrong thing making her leave the house? She has been more responsive since then, but now she won't talk to me anymore. I'm worried not only about her but about Miranda (her two year old daughter). She doesn't know what is going on, so how do I explain to her that her brother isn't coming home? You see Nathan was a full term baby, but when he was delivered, a knot in his umbilical cord tightened and he died. At the moment I am worried I might be pregnant, and it is making it doubly hard on her. Basically what I am asking is: Is there any hotline or things like that that someone can point me to? My sister needs to talk to someone, since she isn't talking to me anymore. Can someone point me in the types of websites I should look up. I am clueless here.

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UnderTheRainbow · 12-13-2004, 11:08 AM

My sister in law lost her baby about a year ago. She wasn't as far along as your sister was but, she felt the same way your sister is feeling. Talking about it helped her alot. She too has a 2 year old daughter and spending extra time with her helped too. What helped the most was the hospital where she had been going helped her by seeing a counselor and also, by giving her little gifts to keep as a reminder *** her lost little one. There is actually a whole like gift book in which you can get little gifts...like a necklace that has a prayer on it and the childs name. This all helped her tremendously and now she is alot better. She still thinks about her daughter she lost, but she found will to move on. Best of wishes to you and your family this holiday season. And good luck with your pregnancy. Seeing how much u care about your sister i know you will be a great mom. Take care!

nutmeg123 · 01-15-2005, 03:27 PM

if you look in your local phone book you can usually find a grief support group. A couple from our area lost an 8 yr old to a car accident--their only child. They went to that group for over a year and it helped them immensely. Others in the group had also lost children-from miscarriage to cancer to accidents. I would recommend her looking into it. It may be hard to go at first because it is facing her loss but it really will help her. She is lucky to have you and your sister for support.

kuppermama_3 · 04-10-2005, 08:52 PM

i lost a baby also 8 years ago and i will tell you this the pain is always there and you think about them all the time but life does have to go on and your sisters other little one needs her just like my other little one needed me it is great that you are there to help her just don't give up because she will come around it just takes time and as much as you are there to help her you can help with her other baby to may god bless you and your sisters and please don't give up cause it will get alittle better i promise

jubilee14u · 04-10-2005, 09:30 PM

I never had alost child but i lost my moms . i don't if it's any different but i feel the pain is just like it . just lived in new york and me in florida and she always came on the greyhound due to the 911 she was afraid of flying so i picked her up and we sat down and talked and the next day my brother who lives one hr. away from here came to pick her up to spend aleast 4 or 5 days with him and 5 with me you know back and forth and when she was ready to be picked up which my husband picked her up she ask me to give her some coffee and that she had a good time and i told her my story about coming from my recent vacation of 11 days in Puerto Rico and how i was helping out her daughter inlaw which is my only sister inlaw her mother dieding and how i had to see her suffer and how she made my sister go thru so much and mom tells me well that my sister inlaws mom was alway a b. with her then i tell her you won't treat me like that right then she said no no .. right mom that people like this you just have to forgive and just leave it to the lords hands that right my dear .. that i ask her you would'nt put me thru that right like be upset with life because you know you are going to departure no no way if i am going to die i want to just have god take me right there and now .. and that to god forgive her for saying something like this.. would you believe she was sitting right in front of me and she call me and said auooo auoooooo enid enid and i ran as fast as i can to hold her and she died in my arms moments after she called my name. what i mean is that now i know she is in abetter place even thou i missed her soooooooooo sooooooo much .. and i like talking about her and putting picture of her and going once amonth to take fresh flowers and i tell you i am soooooo happy that it all happen when i was there .. she was not along and she knew i loved her so dearly and she was the best thing in my life . and that she is with the lord in his precious home . and that she came to say her good bye without even knowing it. your sister needs good time talks even if she crys she needs to open up. and let it out. she want to let everyone know the hurts and the pain and the exciting it was having the baby . she needs to let herself be herself .. no one needs to tell her to stop that this would make matter worst no this is the worst thing that someone can say to her. she say she missed him say well we know i missed him to or her then you say remember his first smile remember this and that .. it will heal her before you know it. i felt i was heal after my 3rd month. i had to go to hope hospice counceling there are the best. they understand.. you see i wanted to go with my moms. but now i don't i need to be here to finish what god want's me to do. i serve the lord. i got baptist. i feel a tramendous relief. i feel clean spiritually. tell her your sorry for taking her out tell her that you want to share her pains. tell her that you want to talk about it. it's so much healing for both of yous. i prayed to the lord that i was of great help in hear. the feeling for alost one no matter moms sis baby bro. twin are all the same pain and only different is what you both did together. the memory.. so you seem to be one great blessing for her and god is using you to stand by her. so you hang in there that there are alot of us out here or there praying for you love ones too .. god does'nt forget his childrens so hang in there sweetie. your doing the right thing.