The feeling you get when you visit your aunt's grave is only natural. When you are not there, you can think about all the good times you had when she was alive; when you visit her grave it confirms her death everytime.
My advice (and it's by no means professional, but I lost my granddad this year, my grandma when I was 21 and my other granddad when I was just 9) is that if you feel to overwhelmed when you visit your aunt's grave, don't go. I don't mean never ever go. But it sounds as if you need time to come to terms with it. Don't feel forced to go. Go when you are truly ready. I'm 25 and lost my granddad in July. I've not been able to visit his grave since the funeral. There is nothing wrong with that. You have to give yourself time to accept your aunt's death and if going to her grave makes things worse, don't go again just yet.
The other thing I would advise is to talk through your feelings with your mum or grandma - they are going through similar feelings of loss and will understand and be able to help.
kiya
I cant cope with aunts death 
, I'm still having trouble getting over her death. (by the way i'm only 14 and my aunt was 52 when she died) I keep thinking that she'll just come walking through the door and start telling us some funny story like she always did. But when my mom and my grandma take me to her grave reality hits me and I cant bear to go anymore. I really want to go but for some reason i get a reality check there. Could u ppls explain this to me please becuase i'm really confused right now 
. I also had a hard time at christmas because it was the first one without her, i dont know how i can handle all the other firsts, my sisters and i were pratically her daughters that she never had. And my mom said that we'll probably be going back to her grave to get the christmas decorations before someone steals them. Have a happy new year.
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