Death at christmas - Death & Dying Message Board

Mrs squeeky · 01-04-2005, 01:21 PM

Hi there everyone.

My mum passed away on the 23rd December from cancer. She died in a hospice with the best care possible, and we were all there as she drew her last breath. Not long before she died i promised her that i would look after my dad for her.

He is a strong man, and doesnt show his emotions easily. He had a triple heart bypass almost 6 years ago now, but now i am really worried that all the stress and pain is too much for him to take. He has been suffering from bad indigestion all the last week, and i am convinced that his blood pressure is higher than it should be. He told me on the phone tonight that he felt "a little odd" briefly last night. Now i am really worried. The funeral is tommorrow and i am really scared that it is going to be too much for him. What if something happens to him? What if he collapses or something???
Is there anything i can do to try to make things easier for him. He assures me he will be fine, and that its just stress. But i just couldnt deal if anything happened to him aswell.

skf33 · 01-04-2005, 05:48 PM

Hi. I'm very sorry for your loss.
I'm sure your mom is watching over you, and grateful for your help.
I'm also sure she is watching over your dad...
It's not uncommon for you to have a sense of dread, or fear, concerning your father at this time, especially...its natural. Youve just lost one parent,
so it's natural to feel fierce protection for the parent left you...
I think, that your dad, will be okay...physically....and in time, emotionally...
Partly helping him, (if you can call it help) is that he knew she was ill, and that she would eventually leave....I think, he will be able to cope with that,
given time....losing your spouse is hard of course, but, I'm sure he is thankful he had the chance to be with her, when she passed, and she wasnt taken by some sudden tragic accident....
Perhaps they had time alone between them where they talked and came to
some sort of understanding and acceptance of the situation...made peace, so to say....
AGain, I feel for you, I am very sorry. Try not to worry too much about your dad, although it's hard, I know....
It will take awhile....but, time eventually maybe not heals, but softens the wounds....
Take care.
God bless.

Mrs squeeky · 01-08-2005, 01:55 PM

thankyou.

Well we both made it through the funeral in one piece. (there was standing room only in the church...i didnt realise how many people loved her).
I convinced my dad to see the doctor the day after, and with some medication he is doing ok.

thankyou again.

take care

kuppermama_3 · 04-10-2005, 09:09 PM

my aunt also died on christmas night everyone thought that there was something wrong with here but no one ever asked her if there was something they could do like take her to the hospital they all noticed that she had real bad color that day but everyone didn't do anyhting and i guess we all feel like we could have done something to prevent it she was 45 and never married always lived at home with my grandparents becasue when she was a baby she had spinal menegitus so she was never all there if you know what i mean but she had went to the doctor by herself and they had told her that she needed a new heart but she never told anyone and that was the first time that my grandmother hadn't went to the doctor with her so she new nothing cause my aunt never mentioned it to her so when she died that night everyone was in shook and had a autopsy done on her and then they all were very upset but i guess that it helped them to stop blaming themselves so in the end there really was nothing that anyone could have done they found out that her heart was three times the size that it was suppose to be from pulminary adimea so i to know what it's like to have a love one die on christmas they say that god only takes the special people on christmas so i guess we should feel lucky in that since i know it hurts and the holidays are really hard now but this to we all can get through casue god only gives us what we can handle so i'm really sorry for your loss just know that they are looking over us now and they will help to make sure that we all make the right decisions in our lives and god bless all that have had to deal with this thank you