Ovarian Cancer and Dying - Death & Dying Message Board

c.rupp · 01-15-2005, 02:56 AM

I am 44 years old and after 5 long months of pain and suffering in February 2004 I was diagnosed with III stage Ovarian Cancer. I underwent an extensive surgery on March 10, 2004 and had a difficult recovery but was bound and determined to beat this horrible disease. I began chemo in April and completed 8 rounds in September. I have had a great outlook and attitude until about a month ago. My faith and hope have been high and I was really feeling blessed. Now that I am recovering from chemo and reflecting upon the past year, I feel dark and hopeless. I am a Christian and my faith is not as strong as it was in the beginning.

I have experienced many aunts and uncles dying from various types of cancer and what I recall about each incident is that they all seemed to get better (as I am now), but it always came back and in the end was fatal.

I was just wondering if anyone else out there has had similar experience with cancer? I don't know why after everything and I feel that I have beaten it - even a miracle - but still feeling dark and hopeless. Every little cramp and pain that occurs in my body now brings back a rush of anxiety and fear.

As I said, I am a Christian, in the beginning was even almost unafraid to die - but now - I just feel like a coward and very fearful.

Asperger family · 01-15-2005, 07:37 PM

Hello...I hope your feeling better today. I am wondering after the sickness, stress, chemo, faith, and being strong.....if you have become depressed somewhat. You have been through alot and you need support. Emotional support at that, a group who has gone through what you have and have experienced remission and recovery. It might help alittle here, but you should talk to your doctor because you have been through a tough battle and now that you can breathe alittle easier, you can let your guard down alittle and be able to feel the emotions that you have kept buried so deep while battling cancer. Depression and anxiety may be some of those factors that you have to deal now and you will need the profession of a doctor, maybe a psychologists as well, friends, family and of course, people who have been in your situation to help you put this behind you and move on. You have great concern too, about your family and their battle with cancer, which they have since passed. This is a real concern because alot of cancer seems to be hereditary(mom or grandma might have had cancer or ect)With technology today, if it does return, Im sure you will have the best of care and have a better chance of beating this monster again. Your a brave brave person, but even the brave need alittle help now and then. God Bless you and dont be afraid to talk to your doctor about your feelings....its normal and needs to be addressed. God Bless

miss helena · 02-01-2005, 06:59 PM

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your cancer - ovarian cancer is a really nasty disease. My 74 year old mother died from it a month ago. She was not able to be treated with surgery or chemo at all and only lived for 9 weeks after her diagnosis. Hopefully more research and awareness will come about for ovarian cancer, as it is somewhat of a silent killer. Mum had been noting 'trivial' symptoms in the preceeding months in her diary....which is really upsetting for me to read, as I work with a cancer organisation and know the symptoms of this cancer, but she didn't say anything.

Not to sound trivial, but you are lucky that surgery was a possibility - things can always be worse! All the best with your fight, it must be hard keeping your chin up, but please try! Perhaps meditation and taking walks in places you find particularly peaceful and beautiful may help...? A friend of mine told me of a woman in her 70s with terminal cancer who visualised the cancer being washed away in the shower. She had months to live and is still here 9 years later. I reckon the power of the mind is an unknown thing....

ryllcoffee · 02-02-2005, 04:56 PM

Gloomy

I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I was told new Years eve that I have Overian Cancer but instead after having surgery last week, they Diagnosed me with ENDOMETROSIS of the Overy and Kindey. I am famous. I will be listed in Health books. This has never been diagnosed. I was scared when they told me that I had CANCER (70/30 %). I got a 2nd opinion and I am very Lucky. I wish you all the luck and prayers. You may email me at
[ please carefully review the posting rules - no emails ] if you need a friend or someone to talk to
Take Care,
Cheryl

4given1 · 02-02-2005, 07:05 PM

c. rupp, are you still following up on this thread?