friend lost baby - Death & Dying Message Board

kt41577 · 04-02-2005, 10:11 AM

I need some advice, my friend just lost her baby this morning, he was 5 months old, and he has a twin sister. he had surgery yesterday to repair a clef lip, she brought him home, and this morning he stopped breathing she balmes herself for not bringing him in to the hospital sooner. I haven't seen her yet, but I don't know what to do or say. please help.

4given1 · 04-02-2005, 12:06 PM

This is so sad...I will pray for your friend.

I've found that in times of great loss, there really are no words. The best thing, I believe, that you can do is just let her know that you're there for her. It's o.k. to ask her if she needs anything, or what she needs, but the best thing I've found in times of grief is to just find a need and supply it. She probably doesn't feel like preparing meals right now; you could enlist the help of some friends and prepare a full meal for her, some desserts, etc. Give lots of hugs, especially during the times when you feel as if you can't find the right words. And if you are spiritual, let her know that you are praying for comfort and peace for her grieving heart.

kt41577 · 04-02-2005, 02:48 PM

4given1-thanks, I just don't know how to deal with this one. I've had many family members pass away, including my 18 year old cousin who was murdered. and my grandparents who were everything to me. but this is too hard. she is only 27, and her first children, and she had a hard time getting pregnant. I'm in shock, and I can't even imagine how they are feeling.
thank you for the prayers, I've been praying all day for them.

Tiffyholman · 04-02-2005, 04:08 PM

I am 26 and I have a 3 year old, I can't imagine losing him. I just lost my mom a month ago, I think they best thing you can do for your friend is be a shoulder to cry on, let he do the talking just tell her your here no matter what time of day it is your here for her to talk to, cry with, and hold..... that was the most important thing with my mom dying but like I said I can't imagine losing a child. I will be praying for you and her and her family

last1 · 04-02-2005, 06:38 PM

Dear KT4- This is every parents' nightmare. But you like a perfect friend who is genuine in her concern and love. Remember everything that everyone has said here: words will not make your friend's pain go away, it's way too soon for that. You need to be present to her pain and sadness. If you have a church family, now is the time to call them together and give each an assignment. You may be able to care for her other child while she makes arrangements. But listen to your heart, it will lead you in the right direction. All of us will be praying for you and for your friend. Please, stay in touch...CS