Lost dad , faith , and more.... - Death & Dying Message Board

Odie2Short · 04-12-2005, 09:07 PM

As I posted in the recent thread , I forgot the name. I said about my das death. It is more then most people think , Just a regular death , I was 6 and my dad was 28 and my mom was in the accadent and now is raiseing me and my sister by herself. It is hard and we fight alot but It is more then anything. When my dad died my grandparents took me and my sister. My grandmother worked in the hospital so she could do bad things, She is an evil b***** , im gonna refrain from curseing cuz I dont want to get banned. She took me and my sister (I was 6 my sister was 4) T osee my mom 3 days after. I still remember seeing her face and hearing my sister scream and start crying because my moms face was black , blue and purple. The airbag brok every bone in her face and her neck. My grandparents took our trustfund with lawyer and right after my mom got her morpheine shot my grandmother had her sign legal custady to them. That was taken care of and we lived with out mema (Moms mom). 6 months aftrwards my cousin jason (25) commited suicide because of my dads death. Recentley I found out that my grandmother (dads mom) said to my mom while she was reading my dads obitchuary in these exact words she said "I dont see why your so sad , you didnt have that good of a relationship anyways , And dont worry about me takeing your kids the state is going to take care of that". I dont know what to do , To this day I wish I could hit her , and I stil lcry about my dad. has anybody had this happen to them? I dont really think im a good person , I liek to help people but not myself , like on this bord I try to help alot of people. I'm failing in school and I get in alot of trouble. I guess I see no hope. Can anybody mabye help me or relate to this story?

unknown16 · 04-13-2005, 08:18 AM

my uncle was dying of cancer and we all went to vist him. (this is the day he died)
It killed me to see him laying there , after about an hour of talking he passed away and the first thing my nan said (uncles mum) "oh well we better get home soon because the dog is getting hungry" and walked out. She died a week later in my dads arms and i didnt cry , i though thats my uncles revenge for saying what she did.
Not as bad as what happend to you but i failed 3 subjects after that.

phaedrus · 04-14-2005, 06:59 AM

Odie, you need to talk to someone close to you about the way you feel. If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, you are most likely depressed. It is hard to have closure and feel like you can let someone go if there is nastiness around their death, like your grandmother's cruelty. I am not sure of your spiritual beliefs, but I believe those who pass are still near us and there for us. I still from time to time smell my brother's hair or breath, out of the blue, and yet he has been gone for 22 yrs.
Listen and look for your Dad. Maybe you will hear a song on the radio that was his favourite, at a time whne you are feeling especially down...I believe that kind of thing is a message that we are not alone.
Your dad is safe where he is, and nothing your Grandmother can say will ever hurt him again.
Can I ask how old you are? And what is your current living situation, are you with Mom now, or still with your grandparents?

It is perfectly normal to not do well in school if you are still greiving. But I do strongly recommend you tell your teacher how you feel, that you are having a hard time. And if you can't tell anyone in your family, tell your doctor, or even look up a help line in your phone book. And of course, keep posting here. We will keep an eye on you too. we are all here for each other.
I am so sorry you have had such sorrow to deal with, and that those around you who should have been loving, have been cruel.
I have to go now, but I will be back to check on you, so please post again. God bless, and I am sending you many hugs xxx