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Old 06-26-2006, 07:03 PM   #1
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Trents Mommy HB User
Unhappy I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

Hi my mom passed almost 2 weeks ago! I CANT EVEN HANDLE THIS
I am 32 and my son is almost 4. My mom...who was my everything was always a part of our lives. She was my best friend. I am an only child. My father who was never really a part of my life became a part of it when my child was born but then 2 years after that he suffered a stroke. A pretty bad one...he need help just to do eveeryday details. My mom bought me a house...was paying the morgage...among other things, to help me out. I was not wearing Prada and Gucci...but my mom pamered me in much other ways. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!!! AND NOW SHE IS A MEMORY!! I cant even imagin that having to come out of my mouth! How do i handle selling the house? The cars both still owe money on them? what do i do? I AM SO CONFUSED! And being an only child,,,,with no REAL family. I AM LOST!

It was a surgery i was against... but she was determinded. They did it...it was fine but she had horrible back pain afterwards. Kept her for 2 extra days...sent her home on sun.....she died Wen. I saw things I never wanted to ever see for real....AND IT WAS MY MOM. I heard things i never wanted to hear for real......EITHER IT WAS MY MOM OR ABOUT MY MOM! I am so tramatized...i will never be the same. To see all this happen to the one person who has ever loved me so much....uncondionally......And me the same to her! I WANT MY MOMMY BACK! I MISS HER SO! I NEED HER! And I need help!

Just writing all this down and being able to rant made me feel a teeny bit calmer. Im forever crying....and I shouldnt be like that arround my lil man. Cause he keep huging me asing why are you sad mommy? he just doesnt understand. i dont wanna keep telling him...hes too young. I really hope there are others out there and have had a similar expereince and maybe point me in the right directions.....I know every one feels loss...greif....but do you feel scarred? Alone? depressed? useless? not strong? scarred of losing control of everything??!?~!?~

Please write me. I could really use some venting and ranting. And just a shoulder to lean on.........
God, I sound so pathetic....i never was before!

Last edited by Trents Mommy; 06-26-2006 at 07:04 PM.

 
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Old 06-27-2006, 06:24 AM   #2
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whackedback HB Userwhackedback HB Userwhackedback HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

You're not pathetic, you're just grieving. I lost both of my parents in just over a year's time. I'm an only child, just a few years older than you. The first thing you should do is seek out the help of a professional counselor to help you deal with the emotional loss you have just suffered. Help from a credit counselor might also be helpful, too. Perhaps an uncle or aunt may be able to lend a hand to help you out in the interim.

wb

 
Old 06-27-2006, 06:35 AM   #3
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nonu HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

Hi Trents Mommy
I am really sorry for your loss.Please know you're in my thoughts.
You sound a lot like me in a lot of ways. In fact everyone who has lost the dearest one of his life will be in the same state of shock.
I lost my nine year old only son and I do keep writing in this thread often.He was the only sunshine for me and cancer took him at such an early age. Every moment he is in my mind and every momemt I will miss him.
He wasn't in that great of health at his passing, but nonetheless it was totally a shock to me.
I'd sometimes had that guilt inside that I wasn't a very good mother. But I knew that he always loved me and forgave me for my mistakes.My poor baby, He was a very loving child.
I myself am in the same process what I am going to write now. I myself am learning to learn the meaning of life without my baby.
You will also be of course very upset,emotional and angry for your loss of mom. But you know she wouldn't want you to be sad, depressed and angry over the past. As a mother wants to see smile on her child's face at any cost.
No one can escape from the feelings of loss and grief, although people handle those feelings in different ways. You can't avoid grief, but you can learn how to live with it. Though I myself am learning only. It is tooooo hard and heartening I know. Put a period in it and move on with your life.
Iíll listen if you want to talk. Write I am here to see your messages. It is really very helping if you can just write a few lines.
I share in your grief and send my love---
Nonu

 
Old 06-27-2006, 06:57 AM   #4
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Trents Mommy HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by whackedback
You're not pathetic, you're just grieving. I lost both of my parents in just over a year's time. I'm an only child, just a few years older than you. The first thing you should do is seek out the help of a professional counselor to help you deal with the emotional loss you have just suffered. Help from a credit counselor might also be helpful, too. Perhaps an uncle or aunt may be able to lend a hand to help you out in the interim.

wb

I wish I had someone else to help me.....I do have aunt and uncles....only 3 but no one is around to help. Nor do they have any helpful info to share. Which adds to the lonliness that i have.

 
Old 06-27-2006, 07:04 AM   #5
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Trents Mommy HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nonu
Hi Trents Mommy
I am really sorry for your loss.Please know you're in my thoughts.
You sound a lot like me in a lot of ways. In fact everyone who has lost the dearest one of his life will be in the same state of shock.
I lost my nine year old only son and I do keep writing in this thread often.He was the only sunshine for me and cancer took him at such an early age. Every moment he is in my mind and every momemt I will miss him.
He wasn't in that great of health at his passing, but nonetheless it was totally a shock to me.
I'd sometimes had that guilt inside that I wasn't a very good mother. But I knew that he always loved me and forgave me for my mistakes.My poor baby, He was a very loving child.
I myself am in the same process what I am going to write now. I myself am learning to learn the meaning of life without my baby.
You will also be of course very upset,emotional and angry for your loss of mom. But you know she wouldn't want you to be sad, depressed and angry over the past. As a mother wants to see smile on her child's face at any cost.
No one can escape from the feelings of loss and grief, although people handle those feelings in different ways. You can't avoid grief, but you can learn how to live with it. Though I myself am learning only. It is tooooo hard and heartening I know. Put a period in it and move on with your life.
Iíll listen if you want to talk. Write I am here to see your messages. It is really very helping if you can just write a few lines.
I share in your grief and send my love---
Nonu

Nonu...
Thank you for writing to me. And I cant even imagin the loss that you feel. I do know the loss that I am feeling ~ and to loose a child I cant even imagin!
With all the work that needs to be done...I do not have time to even see a doctor! I know I need to eventually...but things are to hectic rightnow. And only getting worse i know...but between work and where my doctor is located...I think I am gonig to have to wait till I live in Jersey and apply for help there. I should have more time then.
I feel as if I cant be alone. I know my son is there....and I love that and need him near me. But i just want to feel secure...safe., which is why I need to have someone else around. Male or female. Just another adult.
I will be back on later...I am at work now. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I will rant more later!
Trents Mommy!

 
Old 06-29-2006, 05:09 PM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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genenevee HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

Hi, I like you lost my mom, my best friend just 3 weeks ago. I still cant believe it. It's not getting easier its getting harder. I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom was 60 years just retired from a job she hated and couldnt enjoy not one day of it. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which had spread to her liver and gallbladder on february 23, and died just 3 months later. It was so terrible to see her suffer. throwing up, pain,she was down to 65 pounds. I can relate to you as i too am 32 years old. i do have to older siblings but i lost my dad when i was 7 years old. I also have two boys aged 7 and 5 and it kills me so much that they probably wont remember her with the way that she loved them. this really sucks. I try to keep busy as much as i can but its really hard. If you ever need to talk know that i'm here for you maybe together we can make it a little easier for each other.

 
Old 06-29-2006, 05:30 PM   #7
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suzi191 HB User
Re: I Want My Mommy Back!!!!!

I feel for you, I really do. I lost my last parent this year to cancer. My dad died in 93, heart attack, andf I am an only child. It sounds like your mom took pretty good care of you. You had everything you needed plus....but now its time to step up to the bat and be the mom for yoour son. He needs you. And you are to him, what your mom was to you.Take the reins and take over. You can do it........My mother was a very strong woman, she took care of herself and she made me a strong woman.....and now that she is gone I feel like I am taking her place for my family......I have 6 kids , a great husband and my mothers mom is still alive at 88....I am helping my cousin take care of her.....You have had a terrible blow, and the empty spot your mom left will; never be filled again. But then again, know that she isnt truly gone, her spirit looks after you guys to this day. She is around you and she would neever have left you guys if she didnt know you could make it on your own............take a deep breath, pull yourself up, and take care of it. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
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