She died in april of this year, about a week before her 93rd birthday. I didn't get to say good bye, but i said it in the crem and told her i love her, which seemed to help until now. i know she was in discomfort at the end and that she wouldnt have wanted to get worse, and it wasnt really unexpected, but i still miss her. After the funeral, my dad acted all cheery and hyperactive (hes 56) and recently hes started again, i think its his coping mechanism. He lost his dad when he was 18 and I'm worried that he hasnt dealt with my grandmas death properly. Recently i just really miss her and i dont know what to do, especially because of my dad. I feel like im too young to help him, everyone always says i have a good head on my shoulders but I just dont know how to cope or help. I may be mature but that doesnt mean much at the moment.
I'm am sorry to hear about your grandma. I'm sure she was happy to be able to see all the generations bloom below her. As for your dad, everyone copes differently with death. It can't be ignored though. Eventually it will hit him completely. There isn't really anything you can do to help him. Just be there for him if he needs someone to talk to.
Things have changed a little. i keep remembering my grandmas poem at the crem and how she wouldnt have wanted anyone to have been held back by her death. i also keep remembering how i got home from school and my dad cried on my shoulder and clung to me, just like he did at the crem. my brother was distraught when she died, hes always been such a rock for me, and although i know hes ok, i just worry about him and everyone else who i havent seen much of.
i guess it is comforting to know that she got to see the younger generations- she had a hard life, but towards the end she was happy, and was surrounded by her family- she even had a great grandaughter, who i really hope will grow up to know about her gran. shes nearly 5.
my dads always seemed depressed (no diagnosis so i dont know) and at his worst times hes aggressive, not usually to the point of violence, but hes started being aggressive since my last post, i can only assume its to do with grandma cos the sadness is there too. mostly it just makes life kinda unpleasant, but it worries me, its intimidating and kinda scary. still not entirely sure what to do about anything but i guess i just have to deal with my stuff first.
also, this is kinda off topic but, although my grandma died at 92, my grandad died at 54, my greatgrandad at 52, his dad at 52 also. my dad isnt exactly healthy, and i can tell it worries him. hes 56 how and seems to be under the impression that hes not got that long left. he jokes that he might have my grandmas genes.... i just wish hed stop thinking like that, or at least start looking after himself. its dumb of me, but if he worries about him dying, so do i. he has will to live, it just doesnt seem that he wants to live for much longer. and theres no reason for it.