Will the pain ever end?????? - Death & Dying Message Board

Spotcat · 09-07-2006, 12:44 PM

I lost my father on July 5,2006. He was not only my father but also my best friend. I can't seem to get over his death.All i do is think about him and cry. My family is already saying that i should get over it but i just can't. He was the only parent that i ever had, my mother took off when i was a baby and he raised me long before there ever was such a thing a a single father. Back when she left men either put the kids with other family members or just gave them up but he did not. He spent everyday doing anything he could to make my life better and now i do not know what to do with out him.

When i try to talk to my family about how i feel they all say that i am on a pity party and that i should just get over it already but to me it is too soon to just forget everything he meant to me.

I want my normal life back. Granted that i never had a normal life but it was better than the one i have now.

carolynp1964 · 09-07-2006, 04:13 PM

Hi, I am sorry you lost your dad, I lost my brother june 27th 2006, in a horrible car/semi wreck. I have heard from so many people, that it something you will never get over, and you just learn to live with it, as hard as it seems. The other day my mom told me that I had to get tough and we just have to move on, well everyone deals with death differently and if they are lucky enough to do that, I am happy for them, I miss my brother terribly and I will not get over it, and it will take time to live with the fact he's left me, so feel what you feel and there is no right or wrong way to feel, scream when you need to, cry like crazy when you need to, this is such a sad time, I feel for you so much, be you and just try and breathe and get through the day, thats all I would expect from you, and that all you should expect from yourself. I am sorry! I send you a big hug!!!-Carolyn

plasva · 09-07-2006, 07:33 PM

Hello,
I am so so sorry for both of your losses.
Two months is not nearly enough time to grieve the loss of your father, so don't worry when people tell you to start moving on. Some people can pretty quickly, but most can't.
When people are impatient with you, try to forgive them, but ask them not to push you, that you'll get through this at your own pace.
(Hugs)

mrsponydr1ver · 09-14-2006, 11:35 AM

My daddy died in January and I am nowhere near getting over him. He was my best friend. I loved him more than anything. Allow yourself to grieve no matter how long it takes you. He was your world and you miss him terribly. I still sit and cry over my daddy being gone.

Counseling has helped me some. Maybe you could do that. Please take care of yourself.

messee84 · 09-29-2006, 02:56 PM

I just want to say that no one can tell you how you should or shouldnt be handling this. What you are experiencing is a perfectly natural reaction to an awful event. I think it would help if you could focus your grief on something to remember him by for example scrap booking all the photos, making memory boards and boxes to remind you of all those great times you had. When my gran died years ago now my mum and I spent hours looking through old photos and the most unexpected thing happened, we laughed and laughed and laughed about some of the memories the photos triggered and I really felt like my gran was laughin with us. Your dad was very precious to you, and you to him so you know in your heart he'd want you to feel happy again. It will take time and perhaps talkin to someone proffessional would help but one day you'll be able to think of him and smile rather than cry.