my daddy is gone how do I get over him - Death & Dying Message Board

kay fletcher · 01-01-2008, 08:48 PM

my daddy is gone how do I get over him

hpybtms · 01-02-2008, 12:59 AM

I am so sorry to hear of your dad. My thoughts, prayers and many hugs to you during this difficult time. My own dad died 8/26/07 and I will never forget or get over him. My advice for you is to take it one day at a time. When one day gets difficult for me I sometimes take one minute, one hour and sometimes one second at a time. They say it gets easier with time but I'm not to sure about that. Think good thoughts about him when you start getting down think of happy times.

CLS1111 · 01-03-2008, 12:34 AM

Hi Kay,

I am so sorry for your loss.

My parents are both gone now. My Father died 15 years ago this month and everything is still as fresh in my mind as the day he died. It left such a void.
Then 6 yrs. ago my mother died and it just tore my world apart. She never got to see my girls get married or any of her Great grandbabies, and I couldn't get over all of the guilt I had over not being able to help her. I haven't been my happy go lucky self since.

Then last week I was watching a movie where the man the man died and left his fiance behind and a year later she didn't want to go on. He was with her in spirit all the time but she couldn't feel it, then it showed him talking to her sub concience and he was telling her she had to go on with her life and that if she was going to take all the Joy and Happiness he had put in her heart and keep it bottle up inside and be miserable for the rest of her life then it
was wasted. He told her she should take the Love and happiness he gave her and go out and spread it around to other people and the more she did that the better it would make her feel.

I thought that was so profound to me, and I new that is exactly what my parents would want me to do, not let the Love and Happiness die. I have used that to pull me through the Holidays and I'm determined to pass it on to my Family now.

I know the pain is overwhelming andI know you need much more time to grieve over your loss, but maybe that will help you a little, just like it helped me.. God Bless

Cathy

jml1986 · 01-07-2008, 03:31 PM

My dad died 9 years ago this coming May, and I can still not tell you how to get over it, because I still haven't. I really don't think we are suppose to get over it. We are programmed to get up everyday and do what you normally do. The only difference is that now we do it with an ache in our hearts that will never go away. Try not to force yourself to get over him. You will wake up one day and realze that you did not have it on your mind all day long. While this will make you feel guilty when you realize it, it just means that you are learning to cope. So, time will help you cope, it will never make you get over it, and I would never want to.

mmmcoffee · 01-08-2008, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hpybtms

I am so sorry to hear of your dad. My thoughts, prayers and many hugs to you during this difficult time. My own dad died 8/26/07 and I will never forget or get over him. My advice for you is to take it one day at a time. When one day gets difficult for me I sometimes take one minute, one hour and sometimes one second at a time. They say it gets easier with time but I'm not to sure about that. Think good thoughts about him when you start getting down think of happy times.

My mother died 8/26/07 also. I will never get over it. She was my best friend. I had become a sort of caregiver to her also. It was always me and my dad taking care of her and everything else. I still miss her terribly. I will never 'get over' her...I just need to keep going. No, it's not easy. At all. But I am finding out that this (my family without Mom) is the 'new normal' I guess. We just keep going as best we can. I have days that all I want to do is talk to Mom, about anything--life, recipes, dealing with my kids, work...but then I realize I can't. And it's horrible. But I still have my Dad. SInce Mom died, we've become even closer, which I didn't think was even possible. I am the youngest and only girl. Dad and I have always been close. Now, it's just even more so. It was he and I who sat with Mom all night at the hospital. We let the boys (I have 4 brothers) go home and get some sleep. It's always been like that. We only live a mile apart, so we're really close anyway. I don't go a day without seeing Dad. As a matter of fact, I just came home from his house a few minutes ago. Once a week or so, my daughters and I have sleep overs at Pop's too.

I can't imagine the day I lose him. Not even something I want to think about, although I know it will come.

Just remember, you don't get over it. I guess you just have to learn to cope. My thoughts are with you. Please be strong. Your Dad would have wanted it that way.

mmmcoffee