not sure how 2 cope - Death & Dying Message Board

suz79 · 01-28-2008, 02:46 PM

My Dad passed away on thurs have never seen a dead person before let alone a person dyin now i can say i never wanna see it again. Have blocked the last image i have of him because it was 2 hard to deal with now i can't remember at all.......have repressed my feelings because im a single Mum and fear a breakdown i suffer manic depression have so for years and only went off my meds the week before.
Not sure what my question really is i guess i wanna know if it's not healthy 2 lock things away. His funeral is in 2 days and i fear a breakdown after that 2 . Can any1 offer any suggestions on what i should do?

Karen W. · 01-29-2008, 12:01 AM

You have a long road ahead of you my dear, It's hard loosing someone close to you, my fahter died 7 years ago and I still think of him eveyday, He will always be a part of me in my heart and sole. Once the funeral is done, you realize the last few days are a blur, I truly belive that it's a form of shock, You must take care of yourself during all of this, very important to take your meds, my mother inlaw suffers from manic depression, so I due understand the importance of taking your medication and keeping that med level. You do have a long road ahead of you dealing with the lose of your father, take one day at a time, somedays will be much harder than others. I miss my fahter so much but I know he is in a better place now and he is not sick anymore. I'm so sorry for your lose.
Karen

AnnD · 01-29-2008, 12:11 AM

I can only say I am sorry for what you are going through. It is hard to loose our parents. I can tell you this will get better but it will take time. I do want to say too that it is good for you to allow yourself to feel the pain so you can start to heal. Make yourself a little place at your house that you can go to 'talk' to dad...maybe a photo, sweater or whatever...for me it is my dads hunting/fishing napsack and a few other things of his and his picture. That was a couple years ago and I now can remember the good times without crying but it is ok to cry...maybe you will need a few days to cry. It is so different for everyone. I just know that you have to allow yourself to feel.

suz79 · 01-29-2008, 05:34 AM

well i went off my meds cause i was sick of bein dependent on then don't have any more scripts... don't think i wanna go somewhere and cry cause i end up furious and im scared of what or who might get hurt. Tryin not to take it out on the kids but they really got to me 2day just couldn't behave and i ended up screamin the house down. My Dad was the only person in my family i loved with all my heart i love the rest but not like him he was always special.. it kills me that he didn't tell me things he told my bro and sis but not me cause he didn't wanna upset me see i have severe heart failure aswell but now im just mad that he didn't talk to me... im not involved in anythin to do with ahy of it and it's gettin me furious
i sound like a spoilt brat but god i don't wanna be shut out cause im the weak one it's not fair

ablebody · 01-29-2008, 10:11 AM

Dear Suz,

About a year and a half ago, I lost my mother. Like you, I remember the image of her in that hospital bed, and that image haunts me. I want you to know that what you are experiencing is about as wrecking as it gets, so please be patient and gentle with yourself. Give it time.

I think it's especially hard to lose a parent. They were our protectors. No wwho is here to protect us? Even when we fought with them, it comforted us, for they were there to fight with.

Give yourself time. The pain will not go away entirely but life will help you fit the memories into a comfortable and comforting space.

While you regain perspective this year ---it will take a year--continue to reach out to good ears, wherever they are. During my recovery, I spent a lot of time reading posts like these and articles on health.

Best of luck to you in your recovery year.