caringsister54

Dear Marthar

Please don't freak out but kids are born with gifts that slowly fade as we grow older. They are able to see people who pass and are also born with other types of "gifts".

You ask if kids can predict the death of someone. The answer is we really don't know. If it happens it could be coincidence and that's all.

You know your mother's health already and the problems. You know that each of those issues can bring on death prematurely.

You need to start distancing this child from the extreme closeness I read here. She needs to be around her peers more and be involved in outside activities that bring her into contact with many people. While she loves her grammie and there's no doubt about it, she may be so isolated in the relationship and this is a terrible burden to bear. Plus, as your mother ages, responsibility is transferred onto a child to do more. And its simple things that "go get grammie . . ." or "can you do grammie a favor . . .". While there's nothing wrong, the child starts to feel that they are responsible for this person.

My son is now 24, close to his grandparents. More on my side (my father and mother due to distance than from my husband's parents but he's close to all of them). he suffered the loss of my Dad who was his playmate and best friend until he was put into nursery school. He suffered exactly a year later the loss of his other grandfather. Now we are going through the process of losing what is left of my mother who has been in the throes of dementia for a few years. In the meantime, he loss his own dad, my husband.

He has told me that he feels a responsibility to be there to take care of my sister (who is 4 years older than I)and he is scared by that responsibility. He asked me what he should be doing? I said, "why, do you feel that you have to take care of Aunt X?" He said "because she has no one).

I said it was by her choice that she isn't with someone and is isolated but it is not his lot in life to 'take care of her'. I told him, you are to live your life and do whatever you are given to do in your life.

My Sister is not your responsibility, if anything, she's mine and I don't feel responsible for her either.

Please look for play groups, dance, gynastics, sports, whatever and help create an environment so that when it happens, your daughter will have outlets that get her through it.

Its only my opinion

CaringSister54