im so sorry. we lost our only son 10 years ago . this year. and In Nov. 2008. I lost his dad and my best friend. nothing I can say to ease your pain. other than Im still here today. this board has help me much. keep talking. we are here for you. just like you will be there for someone also. take care disney world. faye
Thankyou for replying, I have to get the hang of this notice board thing. I was very down on the day that I joined, I was 'home alone' and felt that I have got nothing to look forward to. I find it difficult to talk to my husband and my daughter because I am so depressing, and they don't know how to cope with me.
I decided that evening that I must try to change my ways, the way I'm behaving is not helping anybody and my son would have hated me to be like this.
It's going ok, but I don't think I'll ever be happy again.
I am so pleased you answered my 'post'. I am sure that only someone who has lost a child can understand this pain, I have lost both my parents and that was awful, but this is just not meant to be, and is indescribable.
When I read what I've written I'm not sure whether I should post it or not?
Sorry for the 'doom and gloom' but I know you will understand, Audrey
oh yes I do understand. my son commented sucidide. we never know why. I have no closures on his dealth. he was a clown. so loving. no note. nothing. but 2 years later. my husband had a per say breakdown because he never talk about Wally. i did and still do. never stop talking Audrey. thats what has kept me going. always like to hear the name Wally. yes I get so sad but Iv cried for 10 years . everyday. and it want ever stop. because you know what Audrye our sons are worth every tear we shed for thim. but no they dont want us to stop living. even though we want to at times. keep talking. dealth can and will not take they love and memeories from us. they will always be in our hearts . one mother to another. hang in there. love disney world, faye
Dear Faye, Thanks for asking how it's going. I am still having bad days and not so bad days, but still feel I'm just existing and not getting anywhere. I am seeing a counsellor here in Rotterdam and it really helps to talk to her.She tells me that I am handling it well and that grief is not the same as depression, it has to be worked through,and not suppressed with pills.I told her about this site and how it helps to know I'm not the only one going through this hell. On top of all this grief we also have financial problems regarding my sons mortgage and debts in England. He thought that when we sold his house everything would be well covered, even some money over. He passed away,and shortly after the world went mad, house prices have dropped so much,we are now asking 100,000 less than it was estimated a month before he died. Even so houses are just not selling in the uk. I find it so stressful, and worry about it constantly. I really don't need this now but I am powerless. Anyway I must be off now, Thanks for listening,
I expect you are asleep now, I'm not sure what the time difference is but it's 13.30 here now, and friday the 13th! not my favourite day, I'm very supersticious, I try not to write about it in the evening because then I just think about it all night, bye again, love, Audrey
Housing prices are the same here in the U.S. Lots of people are losing their houses because they got mortgages for truly more than what the house actually cost. But its the same for fuel as well.
I always got amazed with the cost of things such as weddings! But you know what, the prices always increased in everything because there was always someone willing to pay.
My cousin owned a bridal shop, you couldn't touch a gown for under $5,000.00, in fact she had and sold dressed that were 10, 12 or 15,000.00(US) dollars. But it now went into bankruptcy because with the economy down, no one truly has $15 grand to pay for a dress they'll only wear 4 - 6 hours at best!.
I always said to her, i can't believe people will pay that for a dress, and my cousin's reply was "you'd be surprised what people are willing to pay". She didn't gouge people because the designer prices were also high.
Now they lowered their prices, and she had to sell at a loss, for those in her inventory and she couldn't make her store rent anymore because the landlord's mortgage was high and passed that onto her for higher rent, etc.
end result, she lost everything.
so take heart kind Audrey -- the entire world is suffering for the fools of some.
Hope this finds you having a better day tomorrow
I must first say sorry to all you kind people that have written to me.
I don't look at my mail very often lately, I'm having a difficult time at the moment, I thought I was getting a bit better but now I feel like it's back to square one.
Blackjack, I'm so sorry to read about your daughter Jessica, nothing can describe the pain of losing a child. My son Gary was 47 when he died last year, but he will always be my beautiful blue eyed baby, I'm finding it so hard to imagine life without him in it.
I'm going to end now, getting emotional again!
Best wishes to you all,
Audrey and Blackjack. and so sorry about Jessica and Gary. no matter what their ages and what happen to them. they are gone. a child is child always. as I said its been 10 yeard this April. and Iv cried everyday and now Iv added my hubby of 40 years to these tears. i dont cry all day it can be a few tears riding down the road or looking up to the sky. but Iv made it Audrey and you will to. my baby girl is name Jessica. just a beautiful name. hugs to both moms that is hurting for their babys. take care and keep talking.
I was scrolling down to my board and the title of your post catched my eye...
I don't know if this is gonna be much comfort, but I found it today while I was looking for something else... I don't know who wrote it...
I thought of you with love today,but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.
I think of you in silence,I often speak your names.
All i have are memories, and your picture in a frame,
Your memory is my keepsake,with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping,I have you in my Heart.
I know is hard, I know it's too soon... but try to remember the good times spend together... and instead of crying, smile... smile because he was part of your life... I'm sure he would like you to smile when you think of him, not to cry...