Hello. I guess my question is: Will I ever be truly happy again??? I know it hasn't even been 2 weeks since my Mom passed away, but it is ALWAYS there, like this big, dark cloud. I went back to work yesterday and I guess that helped. I don't know, I guess being sad is part of the process. But I'm not only sad, I'm mad, I'm full of guilt. My sister wants to sue the hospital and/or the nursing home for Mom getting the bed sore that led to the MRSA that led to the C-Diff. I don't know, maybe we should. My sister talked to someone today that's grandmother passed away 2 years ago and she said that her Mom has never been the same. I'm afraid that will be me. I think I just need to hear from people that know, that have been there, that it will get easier-that it won't always be the main thing on my mind. I feel so guilty that I didn't spend more time with my Mom when she was here, but I was always so BUSY, boy what a joke! What could I have been so busy doing??? Probably sitting at home doing nothing, that's what I do now. I hope my Mom knows how much I love her and would give anything if I could do it over again. I think I truly thought she would be here forever. Thinking about the fact that I will never, ever talk to her again overwhelms me. I am jealous of people that still have their Mom's here. Reading through some of these posts helps me. I also got some books at the library. I just have such a deep down sadness in me because I miss her so much. I really, really, really hope she knows that.