Goodbye Baby, I love you
We met when we were in highschool, went to the prom, had to keep track of our parents curfiews and make sure your make up was put on right when I drove you back home. The endless nights on the phone talking about our future together. We got married after graduation, 1986 and had 2 beautiful children together. We were best friends first, and husband and Wife 2nd.
I got a job to support us, and we left the safety of our parents homes and eloped, and moved to the bigger city where I could make more money.
We were always broke, were happy when we could eat out once a month. As my career took off and took me more away from you and the kids, we ended up getting divorced......after 18 years. Although the decision was yours, I understood and we made a clean break with you keeping primary custody of the kids and I held joint custody. You went out on your own with little experience in dealing with life, and I was always afraid for you. I was afraid because I knew you didnt like to drive on the highways, you always depended on me to be your voice of reason and without me, I was afraid you would be in danger.
I couldnt have been more right, when on 4/28/06 you were talked into getting on the back of a motorcycle by your new boyfriend, and you were killed instantly when someone turning into a 7-11 didnt see you both coming.
I knew you hated motorcycles, it was a motorcycle that took the life of your brother when you were so young. You always forbid me to own one. You put your trust into this moment, a whim, a carefree moment of time.
When the funeral home gave me your personal items, your receipt from the ice cream store was in your pocket along with 6 dollars. You just went down the street to get ice cream, left our babies at home and never came back.
Today I have them back home where they belong, we grieve for you, we dream about you every night, and we come to see your grave every week.
I had 2 years of living alone to get ready for this. I never thougth I would be MOM AND DAD to our babies, but somehow god has given me strength to carry on where WE left off. Sometimes when the kids bring home good grades, I just want to call you and brag on them, but there is nobody home.
I still have your voicemails on my cellphone, our 18 christmases together on my computer hard drive, and I have the closest thing I will ever have next to having you here.....our children.
I love you Adrienne. I miss you and I never, ever was mad that you wanted to see what life was like outside of marriage before you turned 40.
Either way, our first Christmas apart will be in a few months, and our Daughter will be graduating High School in a few years. I always dreamt we would do those things together. How it will hurt when I have to appreciate those moments for BOTH of us, when only ONE of us is there to see it.
God bless, honey, I truly miss you.
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