It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Death & Dying Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-30-2009, 11:22 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
my son's last days. I need info

My 23 y/o Iraq Vet Army Sgt, Vol. FireFighter, EMS Rescuer is in the last days of rare liver cancer that has spread over entire organ systems and I just want to know what to expect in these last days. What will happen with him. He is already down to 110 lbs and so weak he cant hardly get across the room. He is loosing blood thru his rectum and his pea is really weird, not normal yellow or concentrated but thick and horrible smell. He had been given 90 days and yesterday was the 90th day. I just want to know what to expect over the next few days and how to prepare for it. I have already lost a teen to a drunk driver that struck her beside the road while she was assisting a stranded driver 3 yrs ago. (My sons little sister). But this is something I am not dealing with well. My profession has me taking care of alot of these kinds of patients and their families and I have dealt with death many times being in the emergency field for over 12 yrs. but this is different. This is my firstborn laying here dying. Not eating, drinking... so frustrating. We have a strong faith and I know he will be safe in Gods hands, I just thought there might be some one out there with similar experiences who may be strong enough to share some insights.
Thank you, T. Underwood

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-31-2009, 11:45 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,338
rudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. There can be nothing worse than losing a child and you will have lost two. My husband had esophageal cancer that spread to his liver. He passed away because his liver gave out from the treatments. It sounds like your son is very near the end. My husband became very bloated in his stomach area and his skin turned bright yellow. Shortly after that he became disoriented and slipped into semi-consciousness. He took his last breath about 24 hours later. Are you in contact with Hospice to help you through this and keep him as comfortable as possible? I will keep you and your son in my prayers and may God give you the strength to get through this. ((((Hugs)))))

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-31-2009, 06:46 PM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Quote:
Originally Posted by rudiraven View Post
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. There can be nothing worse than losing a child and you will have lost two. My husband had esophageal cancer that spread to his liver. He passed away because his liver gave out from the treatments. It sounds like your son is very near the end. My husband became very bloated in his stomach area and his skin turned bright yellow. Shortly after that he became disoriented and slipped into semi-consciousness. He took his last breath about 24 hours later. Are you in contact with Hospice to help you through this and keep him as comfortable as possible? I will keep you and your son in my prayers and may God give you the strength to get through this. ((((Hugs)))))
i cant stop crying for you. i lost my only son at 26 through sucidide. and now you are losing your second child. only a mother knows that kind of pain. my husband had lung cancer and we lost him last Nov. he pass peacefully. hospice facility help him to die in dignity. please contact them and let them help you. hope you have someone with you . i will keep you in my prayers. no matter what this is your love one .

 
Old 08-31-2009, 07:12 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southern Ms
Posts: 95
Mildred1260 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

I feel so bad for anybody that loses a loved one, especially a child. I have lost both parents but they were much older than your precious young man.

You are in my prayers. If it's your son time to go, I pray it's peaceful without pain.

 
Old 09-02-2009, 10:45 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Thank you so much for your prayers and concern. We are making it one day at a time and each day that he is here we strive to make him comfortable and happy as possible. He has great faith and that in itself helps us as parents.

 
Old 09-02-2009, 10:58 PM   #6
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Thank you so much for your reply. I know it must be hard for you to think of those painful days. We have a wonderful and large support group, from family, extended family, his military brothers and sisters, our/his church, the whole community we live in...He has great faith and is always the one encouraging and inspiring. I know that God has His angels and his sister close, oh, and his grandparents. We have made it by our faith and trust in the Lord. Hospice has been with us for about 90 days now and also the Veterens Affairs people have really stepped in and made sure he has everything he needs. That really helps. We are just taking each day as it comes right now. He was sitting on the porch earlier this evening eating egg rolls from the Schwanns man...He cant eat very much but if he has a request we go to the ends of the earth to get it. Just to see him smile is all I live for these days. I dont want him to leave us but I know that he will soon be free to be wherever his spirit leads him, and I feel my daughter and see signs, hearts, hearts everywhere, from her all the time. They are never "lost", we just in a different place. I made up this saying for my husband because he laughed when I said I believed in Santa Claus: "To believe in something we cannot see is not to say we cannot touch it with our hearts." Im sure you can relate to that with your husband. I will keep you in my prayers. Im sorry im running on like this, Im really tired and my mind just flits around at night time...

 
Old 09-02-2009, 11:11 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. We have had hospice for a couple of months now and have a big network of family and friends and people all over praying and encouraging him and us. I will keep you in my prayers as well. I say with everything I am, his faith in God, everyonesPrayer for him and all of the Encouragement from others, and all the Love that has been extended to us has helped him more than any chemo ever did. He has been through so much and still says , "oh, Im great", Im fine, doin good to everyone he talks to. He has been such inspiration to alot of people through his journey. Im so proud and blessed to be his Mom. I hope you can "see" your husband thru his love he left for you. I know we feel Maegen all around us alot of the time, especially now. I know God is right here with us and he is for you too. Bless you.

 
Old 09-03-2009, 05:28 AM   #8
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Quote:
Originally Posted by jems2504 View Post
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. We have had hospice for a couple of months now and have a big network of family and friends and people all over praying and encouraging him and us. I will keep you in my prayers as well. I say with everything I am, his faith in God, everyonesPrayer for him and all of the Encouragement from others, and all the Love that has been extended to us has helped him more than any chemo ever did. He has been through so much and still says , "oh, Im great", Im fine, doin good to everyone he talks to. He has been such inspiration to alot of people through his journey. Im so proud and blessed to be his Mom. I hope you can "see" your husband thru his love he left for you. I know we feel Maegen all around us alot of the time, especially now. I know God is right here with us and he is for you too. Bless you.
i feel a connection with you already. so many people dont know what to say to me and they choose to say nothing when I lost my son and my hubby. its been a bad week for me. i cant get the image of Walt, my hubby being in the hospice for 6 weeks . share with you. the night before he pass he sat up in the bed and called out Wally, our son. my daughter which is 27 had a dream and when Walt reach out to Wally that woke her up. the next morning Walt spoke so clearly to us and smile. Jessica told me about her dream at the coffee shop and when we came back to his room. we where sitting there and Walt look at her and ask about the train station. in her dream Wally came running up to her laughing and then 2 men took him away. they where at a train station. so we choose to think Wally came that night to take Walt but he told him to talk to me and Jessica and he would come back later to get him. and 4 hours later he went into a coma and pass 10 hours later. how bitter sweet is that. we will always love our love ones. and they will be in our hearts. from one mom to another. i love you and will have you in my thoughts. please take care of yourself. your son sounds remarkable. a friend in North Carolina. love disney world, faye:w ave:

 
Old 09-04-2009, 07:35 PM   #9
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Quote:
Originally Posted by disney world View Post
i feel a connection with you already. so many people dont know what to say to me and they choose to say nothing when I lost my son and my hubby. its been a bad week for me. i cant get the image of Walt, my hubby being in the hospice for 6 weeks . share with you. the night before he pass he sat up in the bed and called out Wally, our son. my daughter which is 27 had a dream and when Walt reach out to Wally that woke her up. the next morning Walt spoke so clearly to us and smile. Jessica told me about her dream at the coffee shop and when we came back to his room. we where sitting there and Walt look at her and ask about the train station. in her dream Wally came running up to her laughing and then 2 men took him away. they where at a train station. so we choose to think Wally came that night to take Walt but he told him to talk to me and Jessica and he would come back later to get him. and 4 hours later he went into a coma and pass 10 hours later. how bitter sweet is that. we will always love our love ones. and they will be in our hearts. from one mom to another. i love you and will have you in my thoughts. please take care of yourself. your son sounds remarkable. a friend in North Carolina. love disney world, faye:w ave:
checking in hope things are a little better for you. cant imagine how you are handling this. faith is great but still . i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. disney world, faye

 
Old 09-06-2009, 12:08 AM   #10
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Thank you. We are getting a little weaker each day. The last 3 days he has not wanted to eat much/cant eat much or drink either. He has been feeling really badly and sleeping alot. He has the saddest look on his face the last couple days. Its really killing us to see him this way. Pray for his spirit to find peace and happiness. I think its time for him to spread his wings and fly...

 
Old 09-07-2009, 06:18 PM   #11
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Quote:
Originally Posted by jems2504 View Post
Thank you. We are getting a little weaker each day. The last 3 days he has not wanted to eat much/cant eat much or drink either. He has been feeling really badly and sleeping alot. He has the saddest look on his face the last couple days. Its really killing us to see him this way. Pray for his spirit to find peace and happiness. I think its time for him to spread his wings and fly...
im praying so hard for you. i know this is killing you. wish i could say or do something to ease this pain for you. faye

 
Old 09-08-2009, 01:43 PM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,338
rudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Jems,
Thank you for your kind words. I know my husband's spirit is around. I talk with him all the time. I'm thinking of you and your son and praying hard that he has a peaceful transition. Please stay in touch. God Bless (((((Hugs)))))

 
Old 09-14-2009, 06:36 AM   #13
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Quote:
Originally Posted by jems2504 View Post
Thank you. We are getting a little weaker each day. The last 3 days he has not wanted to eat much/cant eat much or drink either. He has been feeling really badly and sleeping alot. He has the saddest look on his face the last couple days. Its really killing us to see him this way. Pray for his spirit to find peace and happiness. I think its time for him to spread his wings and fly...
checking in. been out of town with friends. i know everyone is exhausted now. really nothing i can say. hang in there. faye disney world

 
Old 09-16-2009, 12:33 PM   #14
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Teague, TX USA
Posts: 6
jems2504 HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

Mitch gave up his fight early Monday morning. I had been at his side for several hours, as we had been taking turns thru the weekend. He was really groggy Sat. but said I love you Mom. He basicly went to sleep and then his breathing and heart stopped at the same time at 05:50. As his body relaxed he seemed to have a smile in his expression. We are thankful he has went to be with his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. That was always his ultimate dream, to be with Jesus one day. Thank you for your concern and prayers. His Obit should be on Bowers of Teague tx website. you can see his pic and read a little of his life there. May God Bless you and yours.~Teresa

 
Old 09-16-2009, 04:09 PM   #15
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 2
cryinggirl HB User
Re: my son's last days. I need info

My heart breaks for you. I just lost my dad last Tues. and it hurts so much. Dad was 86 and lived a full life, but your son was young and in his prime. I know that they are both in a better place free of pain and suffering.

I also live in Texas and my husband does alot of work in Teague and in Dew for a local homebuilder. I am sure that both towns are mourning the loss of your special son.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Gave 19 year old son ultimatum... Now what?? polly44 Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 38 12-04-2009 08:20 PM
My son is 6 and we need help. ScarlettSteph Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 23 09-07-2007 07:09 PM
My son died of cancer 8/25/05-We miss him so... Prayingmom Grief & Loss 18 02-26-2006 10:49 AM
Help! Son admitted heroin use. cram315 Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 14 02-20-2006 09:10 AM
My son is dying. Prayingmom Death & Dying 324 02-06-2006 03:54 PM

Tags
death of young son. caretaker of ca patient son.



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:19 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!