How to come to grips with the loss
Since my sister passed it has been but a whisper of one long sad day for me. ( its been almost two years) Everyone has moved by in a fast forward pace, as I watch and just can't seem to catch them. They just slip through my fingers as I am steadly sinking. It's sort of like drowning in the ocean but no one can see I'm there. I try to pull myself out, it works for a little while but the sea currents just wisk me back into the water. I miss her. I love her and my mind can not wrap it self around the fact that she is gone. That I failed at the most important mission that one can be given. When she died I lost everything my whole world changed.
I have children who are angry with me over her death. I blame myself for her death. Before she became an alcoholic we were very close, and after we were close too. I just was trying to get her help and she was angry about it. I just didn't do enough, and because of my failures she died. I put tremendous effort into helping her, I just didn't do enough, and now she is gone and I don't know how to move on. How do you forgive yourself for such a failure? Thanks for listening.