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Old 11-22-2009, 06:44 AM   #1
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Today is 11 months since my son died

I am dying inside I miss my son so much. He died in a solo car accident in california he was 23 years old. I couldn't even go to my own childs funeral I didn't have money for a ticket because i paid for his funeral and his cremation. I am looked at like I have the plague. I have nobody to talk to. My husband is sick of me grieving he was my son Jasons step dad. I want to die myself. I went to a psycholigist to be charged 295.00 for an hour. I didn't need that bill nor his advice . I wonder sometimes where my life is going. I lived for my 2 kids now I have one living and one dead. I know I am in self pity but who cares. All the friends I thought I had are gone. I have to work the grave yard shift so I can cope. Today 11 months ago was the worst day of my life nothing can compare to what I heard my heartless brother say to me (Jasons dead) How can this be how can my son be dead I talked to him that day. So now I take alot of medication to make it through the day. I tried to stop taking some of it and it makes me feel like Im dying. I am tired of feeling such pain. I have no idea what to do.

 
Old 11-22-2009, 03:16 PM   #2
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Cup of coffee HB User
Re: Today is 11 months since my son died

My heart goes out to you. No one can imagine your pain. If I lost any of my children I don't know how my heart would continue to beat. Keep living one day at a time, living for the child you have left. I can't give you any advise because I haven't been there but I am saying a prayer for you right now.

 
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Old 11-23-2009, 01:13 AM   #3
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Re: Today is 11 months since my son died

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cup of coffee View Post
My heart goes out to you. No one can imagine your pain. If I lost any of my children I don't know how my heart would continue to beat. Keep living one day at a time, living for the child you have left. I can't give you any advise because I haven't been there but I am saying a prayer for you right now.
Thank you very much I need as many prayers as I can get.

 
Old 11-28-2009, 11:05 AM   #4
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Re: Today is 11 months since my son died

I feel for you. I lost my brother 7 years ago. He was 13 years old and healthy. My mum really hit rock bottom, she wouldnt eat and never left the house. She ended up on a mental ward at the hospital. Well, 7 years later, and she is till taking medication, so is probably addicted now. She will never get over what happened, but she copes, and she does try her best to be happy. She has found happines and met hew new partner only 4 months ago. I know you might not think so, but things will get easier. I saw my mum go through this, and slowly but surely she did start to improve. There will be people out there who care for you and love you. You need to be around them people, and not spend time alone. I really hope things getter better for you soon. Just give it time.

 
Old 11-29-2009, 10:09 AM   #5
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Re: Today is 11 months since my son died

Thank you for sharing your experience of the loss of your brother. I never know what to say to people when they tell me they lost a love one. I am greatful for people as yourself helping me to pull myself out of the complete dispair that I feel. Thanks

 
Old 12-05-2009, 05:14 PM   #6
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Re: Today is 11 months since my son died

You could go talk to a pastor, they are usually free and they are great people to talk to when you need help with grief.

 
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