Re: How am I supposed to feel?
uuuggghhhh! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I lost my husband 2 years ago, I was only 27 at the time and preggo with our third. GREIF SUCKS! And the worst part about it is that there isn't any handy little manual to tell you how to process all the information and make it all better. There are lots of studies on the different stages and knowing today what I do, they are pretty accurate. But when your in the early process of grief, it feels so completely.........I cant even think of a word for it. But to sum it up, it feels like nobody could possibly understand what your going through. Like your the only one and no study, or doctor, or friend who has been through it before could possibly understand. As far as coping goes, tomorrow is going to come whether you like it or not so you can either do what I did, ignore it and make a lot of big mistakes that would lead you to only delay the grieving process there by giving you even more to cope with when that time comes. Or you can do what I wish I would have done which is accept it early on, head on, and make up your mind that you are going to do the best you can no matter what. I wish I could tell you how, but it's something that comes from inside, and I didnt know how when I was going through it. Heck, I'm still going through it, it never went away. So here I am, 2.....almost 3 years later, allowing myself to really process everything that has happened for the first time, and learning to cope with my mistakes. I hope I didnt ramble on endlessly and I'm sorry that was so long. I believe you can cope, and I believe you can do it. You have to, eventually, we all have to. It's just a matter of how long and how many mistakes you make in the process. I hope for you that it comes sooner then it did for me. My heart goes out to you.