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Old 01-09-2010, 10:42 AM   #1
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my mum is dying

i'm heartbroken.....my precious mum is dying from terminal cancer, i don't get it, she was fine, she got a urine infection 7 weeks ago and now she's dying.....how could this be? she had no aches or pains before the urine infection, i just don't get it, i went to see her in hospital today and she was looking very frail in her bed, she's very tired, she's stopped eating, and will only drink/suck ice pops, water and lucozade, she's vomiting blood, and is very uncomfortable, i just want her home with her family, she's going downhill so quickly, i fear she will die in hospital.....she's having fluid removed from her lung on weds and having a biopsy, but what if she don't make it, what if we lose her before she can come home on friday....i don't want her to die, i love her so much, she's my best friend and i don't want to lose her, it's not fair... please say a prayer for her, i can't believe this is happening........

 
Old 01-11-2010, 04:19 PM   #2
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Re: my mum is dying

Maybe her home is one of 'infinite tranquility' and not one that you expect her to be at on Friday. Her new home, irregardless on the location, would be less agonizing and painful than the one she is in now. Just keep her comfortable. Time passes and so shall we.

 
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Old 01-11-2010, 04:49 PM   #3
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Re: my mum is dying

I hurt for you, reading your post. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I will say a prayer for your mum. I hope she recovers. I know someday I'll go through this with my own mum, and can't even imagine how devastated I'll feel.

 
Old 01-12-2010, 05:40 AM   #4
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Re: my mum is dying

thankyou for your comments, i went to see mum today, they are going to do a biopsy and remove fluid from her lung, they are then going to put some talc like powder to try to help the lung stick so it can inflate, she still isn't eating or drinking, she's sipping, she is on a drip and her feet are swelling, and she had a bladder accident last night, i just don't know what stage we're at, my aim is to get her home and start her on a macrobiotic diet, as i have hope, its not over til the fat lady sings!

Last edited by claste; 01-12-2010 at 05:41 AM. Reason: missed a bit out

 
Old 01-12-2010, 10:08 AM   #5
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Re: my mum is dying

I'm a firm believer that a macrobiotic diet can help. My Dad has cancer right now (prostate) and he's doing a non-conventional therapy using hormones to starve the cancer cells. It's overseen by an oncologist. My Dad has been on the therapy for a year now and his cancer has shrunk to undetectable levels. We should know if he's cured in 3 more months.

May I ask- what type of cancer do they think your mom has? You said this all started with bladder infection but now she's not eating or drinking and her lung has collapsed...where is the cancer?

 
Old 01-13-2010, 08:39 AM   #6
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Re: my mum is dying

they said it's everywhere, yet it hasn't been picked up by any scans, i'm very confused, they found cancer cells in the pleural effusion fluid, i don't understand how can she be terminal if its not showing on any scans or xrays, they did a chest xray and found a shadow but said it could be fluid.

 
Old 01-13-2010, 08:42 AM   #7
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Re: my mum is dying

I'm so sorry for your mum.....has she gotten a 2nd opinion?
I'd try that.....

 
Old 01-14-2010, 11:10 AM   #8
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Re: my mum is dying

I understand what you are going through I am in the same situation with my mom she has brain cancer and she is only 53 years old. Prayers will help just stay positive and help her feel confortable spend as much time as u can with her.

 
Old 01-15-2010, 05:59 AM   #9
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Re: my mum is dying

my husband went to see her today, she told him to go away, she doesn't want him to see her like this, she was in alot of pain and had to wait an hour for relief, she is vomiting everything up, she's sleeping alot, and when the nurse went into see her she only grunted when asked questions, she said she's had enough and just wants it to end, please lord take away her pain, and please don't let her suffer...amen

 
Old 01-15-2010, 09:59 AM   #10
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Re: my mum is dying

Quote:
Originally Posted by claste View Post
my husband went to see her today, she told him to go away, she doesn't want him to see her like this, she was in alot of pain and had to wait an hour for relief, she is vomiting everything up, she's sleeping alot, and when the nurse went into see her she only grunted when asked questions, she said she's had enough and just wants it to end, please lord take away her pain, and please don't let her suffer...amen
That's very sad. I feel terrible for you. I hope you will continue to go see her. Reassure her that it's important to you to be with her and that it's not her fault her body is doing those things.

I'm so sorry this is happening.

 
Old 01-15-2010, 12:52 PM   #11
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Re: my mum is dying

It is very hard to standby and watch someone literally pass away right before our eyes. I just did that with my mom. I went to see her everyday even though some days she would say to me: "don't waste your time on me you must have things you want to do". I would tell her I was not wasting my time on her that this is where I want to be.
I would continue to still go and be with her because in the end that is what will really matter is that you were there for till the end...

I am so sorry you are going through this.... It is very hard......

pauline

 
Old 01-16-2010, 08:54 AM   #12
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Re: my mum is dying

thanx to everyone for their kind words, mum is coming home on monday, they have admitted that there is nothing more they can do, and they are fast tracking her home so that she can be with her family as the end nears, they said they can't provide a drip at home, so i'm thinking the end for her will come quickly, we told our children who are both 8 so there are no secrets, and i can't wait for her to be where she belongs...home. please lord take away any pain from mum, please don't let her suffer, we love her so much, wrap your loving arms around her and give her peace....amen.

 
Old 01-21-2010, 04:05 PM   #13
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Re: my mum is dying

I'm so glad you can bring her home. My mother passed last March and yesterday I had my first birthday without her. It was hard. We had our mother home and we had three days to be with her and tell her how much we loved her. We let all the grandchildren come and talk to her or just be with her. She loved hearing them play outside and just lit up every time one of them came in. In the end she was surrounded my all nine of her children holding her hands, her feet, her head - whatever we could reach. It was so hard and so wonderful at the same time. We miss her so much, but we know she's in heaven and being honored there for the being the most wonderful person we've ever known. She was 88, and yet so young. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It's okay to be sad and to cry as long as it takes.

Last edited by murray76; 01-22-2010 at 08:06 PM.

 
Old 05-07-2010, 04:31 AM   #14
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Re: my mum is dying

My Mom is also dying from cancer, she was fine, then she started coughing up blood, she has cancer all over her body, she agreed to try radiation but all her hair fell out on Tuesday, she seems so frail all of the sudden and I see her actually fading away. I love her so much, she has been my best friend since I was born. I have thought about going with her, there isnt much to hang around this planet for, it is falling apart, the government sucks and most people are liars and thieves... I don't know how people cope with such a loss, I freaked when my daughter died, my best friend and my grandmother, brother and aunt, but this all seems too much to cope with. My dog is also going, he is blind and 10 years old. I love him too. I will be all alone and don't want to be. I can't sleep, eat, think straight and feel like some sort of vulture checking on her every five mintues. I was offered hospice for her and said no, I will do it better than they will.

I have stage four liver damage and went through five months of chemo, still feel depressed from that hell, they want me to try again in 10 months, it was rough on me, I don't know what I have to live for, my sister is a total nutcase, self absorbed and only cares if it is all about her. I hate her for the lack of love she has given my Mom. I have rage inside me that is scary. I am considering killing the two thieves that sold me this house saying it had no problems, but it floods every time it rains, I had to take them to court and they lied about everything, I know that most of the rage is about having to sweep water out of the house while on chemo, throwing up into the shrubs while my hair fell out, feeling like total hell. I want to hurt them like they hurt me, but I believe in God and know in my heart that they will be punished for what they did to me and my Mom, I begged her to move to Dallas and live in my home, but she wouldn't leave her grandson, however my sister uses him to extort money from my mom, causing her to lose her house and had to file bankruptsy. I am angry about the stress she put her through. My mom was ill and would tell her TEN years ago she felt bad and my sister told her she was the laziest ***** she ever saw instead of taking her to the hospital. She begged her to move over here to work for her then treated her like hell. I am so certain that the stress from all of that is what got the cancer started and thriving. I know we all have to die, but she had six kids and worked her self to the bone for many years and I felt she had the right to live out her last years being treated like a queen. I still do. I am very sad, scared and dont know what to do... I understand how you can be be feeling the way you are.

Paindora

 
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