I know someone that has the same fears as you and does also suffer from anxiety and depression. Unfortunately most of us tend to lose someone we love, some of us sooner than others. Reality is that the pain is the same for all of us. Losing a loved one is the worse thing in the world. I have lost so many people that i love, i learn every day how to live without them, it's not easy. My heart is aching, but i still am blessed enough to still have so many loved one's near me. I try to focus on how generous God was to give me the people that made me who i am today in the first place. I now pray that whatever God sends my way that i am able to deal with it. Life is not easy. As for you i would suggest that you think of the positive and don't concentrate on the what if's. If any unfortunate circumstances do come your way then you will deal with it because you will have no choice, right now you do. Enjoy your loved one's.