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Phswim8 03-07-2010 01:56 PM

17 and parents died
 
Im 17 years old and one morning I woke up to a pounding on my door. It was the police and he said that neither of my parents showed up for work today. I was quite confused but thought maybe they couldnt get the cars up the driveway because it had recently snowed a lot. The officer tells me to go look around the house and see if theyre still here. I look everywhere and then I go to look in the garage. The first thing I see is my dad dead with a bullet hole in his head. I ran back inside and screamed. It didnt seem real whatsoever. I try calling and texting my mom but theres no answer. Im so distraught that i dont know what to do with myself. Later on at the police station, I find out that my mom was found dead too. It was a murder-suicide. This whole incident was completely and utterly unexpected. Everything seemed fine the night before.

If anyone has been through something similar can you please tell me how they got through it and what they did to live their lives normally. This is just way too much for anyone to every have to go through, let alone a 17 year old kid.

Please help!

resolution09 03-08-2010 07:36 PM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
How very awful for you.

Do you have anyone? Any brothers or sisters? Any family you are close to? Aunts or
Uncles?

Is this real recent for you? I'd think the main thing would be to not expect things to get normal real soon. And if things start to feel normal, they might shift back to being unnormal real quickly.

I hope you have a councelour available to you that you like. It would be so helpful to have someone you can talk to and be comfortable with. You really need someone to go through the next year with you and while a best friend or sibling would be good, someone professional to talk to would be a big help.

I'm very sorry for what you are going through.

lemonorange 03-10-2010 07:09 PM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
I'm sorry for your loss.

It does sound strange though that their co workers called the police because they did not show up for work that one day. Usually work would call the home first and the police do not get involved until they are reported missing for 3 days or so.

Hope someone can help you.

raggedyanne95 03-21-2010 07:34 PM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
I can't believe the officer would make you go look around the house. Sounds kinda fishy. And where was your mom? If it was a murder suicide, did you dad drive her somewhere and leave her body? Why was she not in the garage too?

Lulubells 03-28-2010 07:16 AM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
I have not been through this except that my step Dad killed himself and I know some of what you are going through. You will think you will go crazy. You will examine everything you did and question it and wonder what you could have done to have prevented it.

Let me tell you what I learned from my experience. There was NOTHING you could have done to have prevented it! NOTHING! When someone decides to do this, they are going to do it, it is just a matter of WHEN! What your Dad did had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING you did or didn't do!

You know that wasn't your Dad that actually pulled that trigger. His brain was sick and not thinking right, had he been himself, he would not have done it. God will forgive him since his brain was so sick. Life has a way of throwing things at some people that they are just not able to cope with, when all is said and done, you may find out what life had thrown at him that his mind just couldn't handle, you might not.

I was an adult when this happened to our family and I just can't imagine it happening to a 17 year old. My mind was better able to handle it and sort it all out and even then, I thought I was going to go crazy and I blamed myself for not doing more to have prevented it from happening. I had many friends that helped me through it, one friend especially would talk to me for hours on the phone and eventually he got through to me and made me understand there was nothing I could have done and none of it was my fault. He had a friend that had done it years before and knew exactly what I needed (a friend that cared and would talk to me about what I was feeling and going through). I URGE you to find a suicide support group right NOW to help you through this. It helps to talk about it and to talk to other people who have been where you are right now. You need someone to help you get through this that has been where you are. Ask the police or call a suicide hotline and ask for a support group near you. Ask everyone you can where to find a support group and do it NOW! You will need help to sort it all out. You will need someone to talk to, maybe for hours at a time.... and you will need someone who has been through it to help get you through it.

My heart goes out to you and your family. You WILL get through this and remember, it had nothing to do with you, what you did or didn't do!

model1979 03-28-2010 09:17 AM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
wow...i am so sorry you are going through this. stay strong honey. you are in my thoughts.

justmel30 03-28-2010 08:19 PM

Re: 17 and parents died
 
Who called the police on them for not showing up at work?


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