Hi, Walkwife ~ Oh how I feel your torment and pain. I had lost my dear youngest brother in June 2009 after a long battle with Dysautonomia, a rare condition in which the autonomic system shuts down. It was a long illness and granted we had the time to come to terms with it nothing ever prepares you to lose a little brother. He was only 46 years old when he died.
Then, on New Years Eve, only months after losing my brother, I received a call from my mom. She had fallen on a suitcase and while examining her to check for a broken rib, the doctor found her liver to be quite enlarged. I said that it was probably a blessing in disguise but it wasn't....it was the most aggressive form of liver cancer in the end stages and they gave her only months to live.
My family felt as if the wind had been knocked out of us, we were still mourning the loss of my brother and here we were facing the same with my mom. This was a woman who never was sick and walked 2-3 miles a day and had just ran a 5K Marathon with her granddaughter.
Somehow we found the strength to go through it again.....we decided to make the best of the time we had left and quickly picked ourselves up and brushed ourselves off and got ready for round 2 in the ring.
It wasn't easy but we somehow found the strength to do it. My brother lived an hour away, I was down in FL getting a taste of snowbirding as a respite from losing my brother and far away. But I flew in when my mom had to go into the hospital and helped her recuperate and made several other trips as much as I could.
My brother and I worked with the doctors to allow her to fly down to FL so our family could spend some quality time together while she was still up to it. We spent a week together as a family and it was the best thing we ever did.
Shortly after her return she declined terribly.....and in less than three months after that dreaded phone call on New Year's Eve we lost her. That was only weeks ago and I am feeling the effects of it now.
I lost half my family in less than a year and I am still numb and mourning it each and every day.
I think you should do whatever you can do.....I spent alot of time on the phone with my mom because she was the type of person when feeling bad needed to be able to crawl up in a ball and get through it without worrying about others.
I know your dad understands and that you can spend time with him in different ways.
With emails, the post office and phones and webcams it is much easier to do so.
Take care of yourself and listen to your heart. It will tell you what you can or cannot do at this time.
I am sending you some extra (((HUGS))) and letting you know that you are not alone in this.
If you need to talk or vent I am here.
(((HUGS))) ~ Ivory