Jm41

Thank you.



I've never been a religious person, my family was not religious, and the only times I've been inside a church were for funerals and weddings of certain friends of the family and other relatives.

For me to suddenly become religious just because I am nearing the end of my existence is illogical. I have never believed in God, and for me to suddenly start believing in something that I don't think exists would be a lie. It would not bring me any comfort because I would know I was just hoping for something that I know deep down doesn't exist. Like whistling in the dark and hoping everything will somehow work out okay in the end.

Instead, I am confronting the end of my existence head on and facing the reality of it. There is nothing I can do about it but to simply accept it. It does help to express my thoughts and feelings about it, albeit anonymously on this forum.

I have many problems with religion. They change over time, so how could they possibly be true? At one time people believed in the ancient Egyptian gods and the Roman and Greek gods, and the Norse gods, but no one believes in them now. I think after a few more thousand years, modern people will look back on the God of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam the same way we now look back on the gods of the Egyptians and their quest for immortality.

Religion fulfills an important role for some people. It helps them deal with their own mortality by denying the reality of it, and hoping for something beyond death.

And then some people have a fear of death because they believe in some sort of punishment in hell after they die. I find this to be the most illogical part of the whole religion thing. If there was a God who was so sadistic that he would send people to an everlasting torment in hell because they didn't believe in him, then would you really want to spend an eternity with him? I wouldn't.

And the whole concept of eternity is so contrary to everything we know about nature, how the world works, and how the entire universe works. Everything is set up to wear out and fail eventually. Nothing in the universe will last forever. Our sun will eventually burn out and everything on earth will die and come to an end.

For whatever random chance event that brought just the right atoms together to form living things, we have been given an amazing chance to have an incredible journey through our individual lives that most of the atoms in the universe never get. We should enjoy what we have today and not worry about what comes after this.

Another thing that makes me believe what I believe is my late uncle Bill who had alzheimer's disease. Everything that made him who he was as a person was stored in his brain cells. When they got damaged by the disease, slowly but surely, everything that made him who he was-- his personality, his memories, the sparkle in his eyes, his chuckles and laughs and silly jokes-- all got stripped away until he sat there motionless staring at a blank wall in front of him, not knowing who he was or who we were, and not caring at all. His brain cells were who he was. When those brain cells got damaged and died, he stopped existing. The same thing happens to all of us when our brain cells die.

I have pretty much fulfilled everything on my bucket list that is practical and possible at this point.

I am now just going to turn my attention solely to my son and focus on him until I run out of time.

I want to thank all of you for letting me express my thoughts and feelings about all of this with you. It has been very cathartic and very helpful for me.

Thank you and in case I don't get back here to write any more about this (I will try to keep you updated about my illness, but I don't know if I will be up to the task as the disease progresses and the pain meds make me more and more of a vegetable), farewell, and remember to try to enjoy each and every day as much as you can, because you never know how many of them you have left.