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Old 08-11-2010, 01:33 AM   #1
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murch4 HB User
how do you tell if a person is near death

i was told at 3.45 pm that my mother might not make it though the night. i lived 8 hrs drive away. she died at 7.51 pm. from kidney cancer that she didn't know she had. she went to hospital with a sore shoulder. (cancer was in her bones) my question is: would my sister or the nurses (who i talked to at 12pm ) know is was dying before i was called.

 
Old 08-11-2010, 10:17 AM   #2
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jennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB Userjennybyc HB User
Re: how do you tell if a person is near death

The simple answer is no...they would not have known she was going to die that fast.

I remember when my mother was dying of cancer and was given a week or 2 to live and died that night. With my father, we were called to rush to his bedside that he might not make the night and he lived another 2+ weeks and we had all left by then....doc thought he'd make it. With both of my in-laws the same thing....called that she might not make the weekend and she died 3 hours later. With him, I left his bedside and he was sleeping peacefully with no signs that the going to die. Had just had a conference with the nurses on bringing him home to die. He was dead before I got home.

No one knows...except God.

I'm sorry you didn't get there in time.

gentle hugs..........Jenny

 
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:33 AM   #3
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Re: how do you tell if a person is near death

thanks jenny. its hard

 
Old 09-09-2010, 01:32 PM   #4
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Re: how do you tell if a person is near death

In many cases there are symptoms that give an indication that death is imminent. With both of my parents (who passed from cancer) I was told they were "actively dying" and wouldn't make it 24 hours. In both cases they were right due to changes in breathing, pulse, and skin tone plus very cold extremities.

 
Old 09-19-2010, 03:36 PM   #5
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Re: how do you tell if a person is near death

Quote:
Originally Posted by murch4 View Post
i was told at 3.45 pm that my mother might not make it though the night. i lived 8 hrs drive away. she died at 7.51 pm. from kidney cancer that she didn't know she had. she went to hospital with a sore shoulder. (cancer was in her bones) my question is: would my sister or the nurses (who i talked to at 12pm ) know is was dying before i was called.
It is really difficult sometimes to pinpoint the final stages. My dad went quickly...heart. My mother (small cell lung cancer) lasted a week longer than the nurses thought possible although she was not conscious for many days. With my husband (end-stage renal disease, who opted to discontinue dialysis) the signs the staff looked for were a change in the color of toenails and the softening of the cartilage in the ears during last 24 hours.

My parents have been gone several years while my hubby has been gone less than 2. It is hard at times but I try to focus on good memories...not dwelling on the details of the event (both my mom and my hubby had medical directives, living wills, and DNR orders) Sometimes I felt guilty for not overriding those orders and using "heroic measures" until I remember they would not have been happy, well or even comfortable if their lives had continued through the disease courses that were inevitable.

May God bring you peace

arogerskid

 
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