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Old 10-04-2010, 07:10 AM   #1
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A Year Has Gone and Still I Have Issues

Monday, October 5, 2009. I walk into my mother's tiny apartment after no one has heard from her all weekend. I can still see myself. I hear myself saying, "Ma. Ma." Then I smell it and freeze. I don't remember all that happens next, but I can't shake that memory. I can even still smell it. I feel so haunted. I don't think I can grieve until I get over the way she was found. So decomposed, they would not let us see the body. Sometimes I thought it would all be a mistake, but its not. She is really gone.

 
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:46 AM   #2
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Re: A Year Has Gone and Still I Have Issues

Im so sorry you had to go through this. I cant imagine what I would do if I went through this. Was there any reason why she was alone and no one heard anything from her. You cant blame yourself for any of this. If it helps try talking to her, she can hear you know and she is resting in peace and watching over you. Stay strong!

 
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:50 PM   #3
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Re: A Year Has Gone and Still I Have Issues

I am so sorry about your loss. I felt so tearful reading your thread. It makes me realise that life is so precious and shouldnt waste it. How are you coping with it all? Those smell/memorys may become easier in time. Its only been a year ago. Grieving can take a very very long time and memorys to fade a little. Sending hugs and love to you xxxx

 
Old 10-05-2010, 05:40 PM   #4
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Re: A Year Has Gone and Still I Have Issues

Hi Why...

Have you talked to your doctor about this. I can't remember the name of the drug, but there is a medication that people who have suffered traumatic events can take and it helps their brain to let go of the emotional part of the memory. You still remember the event, but the traumatic anxiety eases. Please consider talking to your doctor. If he/she does not know about this medication, see if they can find a psychiatrist who does. It sounds like it might be a situation where it could help you to let go.

 
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