A Year Has Gone and Still I Have Issues
Monday, October 5, 2009. I walk into my mother's tiny apartment after no one has heard from her all weekend. I can still see myself. I hear myself saying, "Ma. Ma." Then I smell it and freeze. I don't remember all that happens next, but I can't shake that memory. I can even still smell it. I feel so haunted. I don't think I can grieve until I get over the way she was found. So decomposed, they would not let us see the body. Sometimes I thought it would all be a mistake, but its not. She is really gone.