Hey everyone. I am absolutely terrified of death. I am always afraid that if some deity exists, that he/she is punishing me. I am terrified of dying because I don't want to experience the pain but I also don't want to be punished in the afterlife. I am a former hard-core Catholic and well, I am just terrified of what may happen in the next life. I am trying to get over this and I am in therapy but it just worries me so much.
Plus, I have several serious health problems. I have often wondered if I don't have cancer though no signs have been found yet. I go to my doctors almost constantly in the frantic hope that they will find what is wrong and can treat it before I die of it.
I suffer from Fibromyalgia among other problems. I am trying to eat more healthy, trying to quit smoking, etc etc. I know there is something bad wrong with me and I just want to heal myself or reverse this process before I am suffering so much that I can't stand it.
I already suffer quite a bit, both psychologically and physically. I have major depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks so that doesn't help much.
I am trying absolutely everything that I can and can afford to make my health better. I don't want to die at 28. I want to live to at least 65 or 70. Unfortunately, I don't see myself making it past 35 and never really have.
My family history is like a world record book when it comes to serious problems. I mean, my older sister who died before she turned 3 had a very rare heart defect. It was Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Only half of her heart was going. She died shortly before her 3rd birthday. This was 2 or 3 months before I was born. What makes it even more rare is that this defect most commonly affects male infants.
I just absolutely terrified and I was wondering if any of you knew of any resources that could help me cope?
I plan to begin attending a United Church of Christ again (I'm a member of one and I feel they are much more open minded than my previous churches) this Sunday but to be honest, I don't really believe in faith healing anymore. I believe God can heal if he wants to. That is, of course, dependent on whether or not he exists and I don't know about that.
But yeah, if you all could please support me, and talk to me, I'd appreciate it.
Don't worry about saying the wrong thing or whatever. I am a very understanding person. Thanks.
I don't have a lot of advice but can completely relate. I'm terrified of death, also. I've always had poor health and worry about dying often. It's not pain I fear, or being dead, but dying itself. For some reason, that part really scares me. I have found that it's been helpful to me to develop a stronger faith. I've always been Christian but in the last couple of years I've developed a habit of reading scripture nearly daily and praying several times a day. It has helped me feel better about what might happen after I die, and seems to also be helping my health. Some might say it's psychological, I think it's a blessing from God, but either way it's working for me.
The Following User Says Thank You to EagleRiverDee For This Useful Post: wwwgirl (11-24-2010)
Hey everyone. I am absolutely terrified of death. I am always afraid that if some deity exists, that he/she is punishing me.
If you don't mind an Atheist adding his two cents..... here is my opinion.
First of all, I find that the way that Christianity and Judaism is practiced in the US is beautiful and caring and is wonderful for the true believers. Buts..... religion is not for me, at all. I don't believe that there is a God.
I am close to 70. I have been suffering from life-threatening illnesses. I love and enjoy life. Even so, I am not afraid of dying. One of my favorite pastimes is sleeping. I take frequent naps. I look forward to naps, especially those naps where I have dreams. Dying, to me, is a permanent sleep without dreams. One just goes to sleep and never wakes up. Sounds good to me!
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I am terrified of dying because I don't want to experience the pain but I also don't want to be punished in the afterlife.
You mention the "dying" process. That is the bad part of death. It is a shame that humans just can't be put to sleep in a humane way when we are at the end of life.
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I suffer from Fibromyalgia among other problems. I am trying to eat more healthy, trying to quit smoking, etc etc. I know there is something bad wrong with me and I just want to heal myself or reverse this process before I am suffering so much that I can't stand it.
Smoking, of course, is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. There are around 100 different toxic chemicals in tobacco. What do these 100 chemicals do when entering one's body and one's metabolism? Who knows!?
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I already suffer quite a bit, both psychologically and physically. I have major depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks so that doesn't help much.
I hope that you can find a way to get more out of life. Life is to be enjoyed. I love life. I enjoy each and every day, despite having Heart Failure, Permanent Atrial Fibrillation, Insulin Resistance, Asthma, etc. To let a day go by without any enjoyment is a great loss. Sadly, many do find it very difficult to get enjoyment out of life.
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I plan to begin attending a United Church of Christ again (I'm a member of one and I feel they are much more open minded than my previous churches) this Sunday but to be honest, I don't really believe in faith healing anymore. I believe God can heal if he wants to. That is, of course, dependent on whether or not he exists and I don't know about that.
But yeah, if you all could please support me, and talk to me, I'd appreciate it.
Don't worry about saying the wrong thing or whatever. I am a very understanding person. Thanks.
Perhaps going back to the United Church of Christ is the best move. If there is a merciful, compassionate, caring God, who is going to provide an eternity of wonder and beauty and glory,............ what would be better than that?!
Take care. I hope that you have much better days awaiting you!
Thanks to both of you for your kind and caring posts.
EagleRiverDee, I have at times in the past considered it helpful to have a stronger faith. But then again, a stronger faith has also caused me fear in the past due to scrupulosity (obsessive compulsive fear of sin and such). This is one reason why I am leaving my current belief system for another one. I feel that the new belief system will help me to have a more positive outlook on life.
Machaon, I totally understand and respect your view. In my opinion, Atheists can be some of the most moral people I know. A relative of mine is an Atheist and he is very moral. He believes in honesty big time. I totally agree with that.
I am well aware of the risks of smoking. My relative is also against smoking big time. He has suffered much due to previous smoking. He quit cold turkey in the 80s though thankfully and this has given him many more years of life.
I suffer the effects of smoking a lot but I believe I am addicted to cigarettes. I wish I could develop more will power to quit smoking. I believe I will have the will power before too long, especially since I have yet another bronchitis infection and sinus infection.
That said, thank you very much for the encouragement and compassion. I feel that you are a very loving person and in my opinion, love is one of the highest of virtues.
Well I think a lot of people who are big into religion are afraid of death because religion is so doom and gloom.I was raised Catholic,but I don't practice anymore.I do believe in a GOD,and I do pray,but as far as the bible and stuff goes,it never helped me have faith.It only made me more fearful.
When I started to look at death through a spiritual and scientific way,I started becoming less scared of dying.Think of how many planets there are.So many galaxies,and we don't even know how many universes.Life and death to me is not just heaven and hell.Nothing is ever black or white.
There is this theory and belief that energy never dies,it just changes form.And that is what I believe.
I don't want to die in a gross or painful way,that kinda scares me.But what lies beyond does not scare me.
To me,a true,loving God will not punish good people for no reason.Just my take on it.
The Following User Says Thank You to WhenItRains For This Useful Post: wwwgirl (11-28-2010)
i used to be scared of 'death' but i am not anymore. i think its because my lifes been pretty much hell for the most of it and it stopped me fearing it. another thing helped is that i told myself that i will see my grandparents and family dog again. i dont usually believe in heaven/after life but i convinced myself i'd meet them again some day to help me. stop wasting your life on worrying. live life to the max and concerntrate on making most of it. when you start worrying about it , put music on and dance around or read a book..anything to occupy ya mind.
I'm new to this group - was not looking for "death" related posts, but here I am. I am SO SAD that you are living a life of Fear. My recommendation is yo get the book "Conversations With God" by Neale Donald Walsch. An open mind is required, because it may be contradictory to what you've been told, and you may not be ready for it, but it could very well "speak" to you as it did to me. An excellent Daily Affirmation is "Divine Healing is the Truth of my Body." Blessed Be.
The Following User Says Thank You to FormerIAGal For This Useful Post: wwwgirl (11-28-2010)
I work for hospice, so I deal with death and dying constantly. I knew that somehow I would be able to handle this type of job before I already started it. Maybe it was that so much of my family had already died. You would think it would be terrible to view someones death; however it's actually almost peacefull. They pretty much decide when it will happen and are at ease -- almost spirtual. "Can't fully describe it, but it is almost like they either are viewing or have actually seen the light, and are "going home".
The following user gives a hug of support to amyd: Spring Fever (03-29-2011)
I'm new to this group - was not looking for "death" related posts, but here I am. I am SO SAD that you are living a life of Fear. My recommendation is yo get the book "Conversations With God" by Neale Donald Walsch. An open mind is required, because it may be contradictory to what you've been told, and you may not be ready for it, but it could very well "speak" to you as it did to me. An excellent Daily Affirmation is "Divine Healing is the Truth of my Body." Blessed Be.
Thank you so much for the information FormerIAGal. I will look into those books! I hope you have a wonderful day.
This was my response to one of the other threads where a lady was also afraid of dying and this is what happened to me. I felt I should share it to relieve the fear and pain of others: I was once afraid of dying. This was only until recently. I always thought about death and how we would just end become nothing. It never made much sense to me. How can some of us have so much love to give and do so much for this Earth and simply just disappear? In the recent years, I have become extremely involved in animal rescue and rehab and although I have been very close to nature, I recently became even more close and gave up eating animal products for the sake of my health, the Earth and all sentient life on this Earth- all animals. Around this time, I became aware of someone who had passed away who would be about the same age I am now, just a few years older. The more I learned about this man, the more haunted I became because I learned that we are EXACTLY alike. I've never been religious and wouldn't have even called myself spiritual but if I had a soul mate, it would be him. So, the more I learned about him and was so touched by who he was, what a beautiful, kind soul he was, the more I felt alone and far from true love. This all sounds crazy but I mourned, yes for this person I had never met in my life but with whom I felt an intense connection and before I knew it his soul was communicating with me! Sure I may sound crazy but I don't care, I have always been a very skeptical scientist and questioned everything but he left me with no questions, every time I doubted it was real he proved me wrong. I have always been very emotional and sensitive and have felt a bit different from others who are not that way but perhaps this is my soul that makes me this way? He came into my life and communicated with me in many ways. He would have wildlife- which he loved, approach me when I thought and cried for him, he would make things happen with electrical appliances in my house, which were perfectly fine before and after I thought deeply of him and mourned for him, he came to visit me in my dreams, and it was always in the most beautiful, colorful, warm, and natural settings, it felt like pure love. He only visited me when I was in a very dangerous and deep depression and now I see it was to keep me going and give me hope and I am no longer afraid of death because I know I'll be with him. Something remarkable and similar happened when my cat of 21 years, my childhood bestfriend, passed away and I was hopeless, she came back to give me hope and the love we shared survived through death. Love never dies. Please remember that and you will be just fine. For your time here on Earth try to love as much as possible, set up a plan for your sweet dog, to make sure he will be fine when you move on, and you will see your doggie again, I'm sure you will be able to comfort him from afar, but make sure to find him a good home before you pass. Please also be kind to all life, all animals, don't eat animals or harm them. What I've learned is love is EVERYTHING, the most important thing on this Earth and once we die, we will be reminded of that. Be brave and follow your heart. I am a changed woman, and still a scientist, just a more hopeful and openminded one
I also share the same fear, as I have experienced death at such a young age. Both of my parents had passed away before I was 13. My Mother was an only child so we had no extended family to lean on, so the sense of abandonment was alive and well. Having also grown up in a strong Catholic household I had developed a deep seated fear of death as we were not aloud to talk about your feelings and you were told that your parents were in purgatory, being explained that they are not in heaven nor are they in hell, they were just waiting in limbo for God's judgment. I know longer wonder why I have issue's. I mean you think about this next comment I am about too make. When our pets pass away we are told they crossed 'The Rainbow Bridge.' How beautiful and comforting, yet again when my parent's passed away they were in 'purgatory.' Having said all of that I lean on God and talk with him everyday as I realize that as my faith has grown I realize that I am not alone, and there is HUGH comfort in that thought. I must confess that I still do fear death but I hope and pray when the time comes that my faith will see me through to the other side.....
The following user gives a hug of support to linda1958: matthewbradey (04-22-2011)
i was told at age 10 by my parents that unless i said a particular prayer, then i would go to a literal hell where i would burn forever and ever. or, i would be cast into a literal "outer darkness" and be totally alone for all eternity. once i said this prayer, however, i would be saved and would go to heaven no matter what (once saved always saved). i hope i'm not offending anyone here, but after while this just didn't make any sense to me. but the damage was already done. intellectually, i don't believe in anything like any of this today. but i can't get it out of my inner most being. i have a deep sense of unworthiness, and i fear i am going to a literal hell even if i do confess my sins and "lay everything at the cross" (whatever that means!?!? i cannot comprehend it in any sense of the word! and most Christians would say that it is impossible to comprehend, wouldn't they? it is too much.) i am told that it is supposed to be so simple! just "lay everything at the cross and accept God's forgiveness. just don't look back and go forward."! why isn't it so simple for me?? the point is, i can sure relate: i am terrified of death too.
Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-20-2011 at 08:00 PM.
Reason: make more clear
The following user gives a hug of support to matthewbradey: linda1958 (04-21-2011)
The unknown aspect of dying is what scares me the most. I have my beliefs...but you don't really KNOW where you're going after life. So yeah, that's hard.
The Following User Says Thank You to EagleRiverDee For This Useful Post: matthewbradey (04-21-2011)
The unknown aspect of dying is what scares me the most. I have my beliefs...but you don't really KNOW where you're going after life. So yeah, that's hard.
it is the unknown that scares me too. if, after life, there is nothingness, then that is not so terrifying, since we won't even know that we don't exist! if that is what happens, you could almost say that we never die, because we are never conscious of anything after life. but, like you said, we don't know that. or, we could "go somewhere" absolutely wonderful, --but we don't know if that either. it's the "not knowing" that is scarey. and, of course, there is always the prospect of experiencing something very unpleasant after life--and that is very terrifying to me as i said before.
i am new here, and i just noticed that i "jumped in" on this discussion on page 3 without even having read pages 1 or 2! stupid me! i didn't even know pages 1 and 2 existed! --anyway, i now have read all of your posts and thank each and every one of you for your kind and thoughtful comments. they have all been very helpful to me. i will keep reading your posts and getting more acquainted with this site and with you all. thanks again. --newbie!
Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-21-2011 at 07:23 PM.
Reason: added second paragraph
You are right the not knowing is what is scary, but that is where your faith comes in. As someone said not too long ago: 'You don't fear God, you fear his judgment.' Again, growing up in a very Catholic house and losing your parents very young is not a good combination for feeling safe and secure. I remember when I was 13 and my Mother had passed away I remember asking 'Is Mom really in Heaven?? Well, Honey no one has ever come back and said.... Wow!!!! Can anyone really be surprised that I have issues???? But, I can honestly say that since I have grown older I search for comfort in God's word rather then the advise of others who really have no idea..... One thing that is also certain, is we all have too find our own means of comfort to overcome this scary thing called Death............
Somehow we must all find our way to peace of mind and comfort. I constantly try and break away from the voices of the past that offered no comfort at all. Even as I write this I imagine that I am as strong as I feel. I pray to GOD that he will be with me most in my hour of need.......
The Following User Says Thank You to linda1958 For This Useful Post: matthewbradey (04-22-2011)
wwwgirl, it's uncanny you should say that: Sometimes i have gone to the Catholic church here in town. I find it very comforting with the icons and rituals and prayers and liturgies, etc. Let's just say it is very different from the church i grew up in which emphasized a kind of easy grace--(too easy--not real?) and from the church i go to now with its emphasis on good works and social justice (nothing wrong with that but sometimes i wonder, "What would it be like to belong to 'the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, the true Church of Christ' with its sacraments and rituals and rites and traditions?" In other words, i wonder, "What would it be like to be able to actually receive the Eucharist, or to go to confession and to formally receive forgiveness for personal sins from the priest, or to be told what to do for penance??" I bet it would make a big difference!)
I know you may not have meant to imply, "Become Catholic". But it is weird, I have been entertaining just that idea for quite some time. Maybe i will, at least, start going back to the Catholic Church more regularly, even though i know i can't participate in certain things. It is still comforting, and maybe it will lead somewhere! Thanks for your reply.
Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-22-2011 at 07:50 PM.
Reason: to make clear who i am addressig
The following user gives a hug of support to matthewbradey: linda1958 (04-22-2011)
I am so terrified of death 
