Dad died, how to cope with funeral?
I'm 51 years old, lost my mother to lung cancer nearly 10 years ago, an aunt 6 months after that and now my dad. He had vascular dementia and was 91, this was expected. It's just the end stage was so fast, maybe 3 weeks.
He was very physically fit, could walk, etc. First week of Nov. difficulty swallowing, pocketed food, become totally incontinent, failure to thrive. Nursing home called in hospice on the 18th, I was able to speak to him up till the very last visit. He was only bedridden less than two days.
I am an only child and have been expecting this, I know he's lucky end stage was swift. I was always closer to mom so thought I could "handle" this. When I got the call in the middle of the night I was calm, 12 hours later nausea, stomach pain, racing heart. I did not expect this.
Any thoughts on how to get through funeral tomorrow? Very small, not much family left, from funeral home to cemetery and that's it, but I feel I am losing my mind. I did have post stress 6 months after mom's death and have been through the worst at death beds, why this now? I just panic at the thought of tomorrow. Would a Xanax help?
Thanks for listening.