Originally Posted by TyrannicMushroo
When I was 12, my younger sister Jasmine passed away. She had gone septic from a kidney infection that antibiotics apparently just hadn't done enough for. It had been a complete shock to me at my age.
Anyway... now that I'm of childbearing age, I've decided I want to name my first daughter after her. I'd been cruising through the SIDS board and saw multiple people thought it was disrespectful to do that. However, it's been 10 years now since my sister passed and I'm nowhere near pregnant yet, nor do I want to be.
I want to honor my sister, and give her a new life in a happy, healthy body. (My sister was born with congenital CMV and was very sick for the short 7 years of her life.)
I informed my mother of this plan, before I thought that anyone could possibly be offended by it, and she never said anything about it bothering her. However, she's also not very assertive and it could bother her without her saying anything.
What do you people think? Is it honoring her, or would it be offensive to her memory?
As much as your sister's death hurt you, I'm sure it hurt your parents much more. I'd say it's really about honoring them
, and their wishes.
Your sister is beyond caring one way or the other.
If your mom didn't actually seem happy
about your idea, then chances are she's not thrilled with it, and simply doesn't know how to make that clear (if, as you said, she's a very passive person).
I think about how your parents would feel around their granddaughter, if every time they said or heard her name, it brought back memories of the saddest and most terrible event that a human being can live through: the death of their own child.
I imagine, as a mother and a grandmother myself, how I would feel about your
happy, healthy Jasmine, knowing that my
Jasmine- my own IRREPLACEABLE child- was dead.
And although it doesn't reflect that well on me as a person, and although your mother might feel entirely differently... I personally would prefer, in this situation, that the new child have her own name.
Just my two cents.