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Old 04-08-2011, 11:55 PM   #1
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Is this a form of honor to the dead?

When I was 12, my younger sister Jasmine passed away. She had gone septic from a kidney infection that antibiotics apparently just hadn't done enough for. It had been a complete shock to me at my age.

Anyway... now that I'm of childbearing age, I've decided I want to name my first daughter after her. I'd been cruising through the SIDS board and saw multiple people thought it was disrespectful to do that. However, it's been 10 years now since my sister passed and I'm nowhere near pregnant yet, nor do I want to be.

I want to honor my sister, and give her a new life in a happy, healthy body. (My sister was born with congenital CMV and was very sick for the short 7 years of her life.)

I informed my mother of this plan, before I thought that anyone could possibly be offended by it, and she never said anything about it bothering her. However, she's also not very assertive and it could bother her without her saying anything.

What do you people think? Is it honoring her, or would it be offensive to her memory?

 
Old 04-10-2011, 08:55 AM   #2
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Re: Is this a form of honor to the dead?

I think that is a very sweet idea. Ignore people who say bad things about it. Your sister if she was here would be very touched , plus its not about anybody else this is about you and your future baby. Alot of people name there children after loved ones whos passed away it is very very common. Go ahead with it. I think it is very nice.

 
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:04 AM   #3
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Re: Is this a form of honor to the dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TyrannicMushroo View Post
When I was 12, my younger sister Jasmine passed away. She had gone septic from a kidney infection that antibiotics apparently just hadn't done enough for. It had been a complete shock to me at my age.

Anyway... now that I'm of childbearing age, I've decided I want to name my first daughter after her. I'd been cruising through the SIDS board and saw multiple people thought it was disrespectful to do that. However, it's been 10 years now since my sister passed and I'm nowhere near pregnant yet, nor do I want to be.

I want to honor my sister, and give her a new life in a happy, healthy body. (My sister was born with congenital CMV and was very sick for the short 7 years of her life.)

I informed my mother of this plan, before I thought that anyone could possibly be offended by it, and she never said anything about it bothering her. However, she's also not very assertive and it could bother her without her saying anything.

What do you people think? Is it honoring her, or would it be offensive to her memory?
As much as your sister's death hurt you, I'm sure it hurt your parents much more. I'd say it's really about honoring them, and their wishes.
Your sister is beyond caring one way or the other.

If your mom didn't actually seem happy about your idea, then chances are she's not thrilled with it, and simply doesn't know how to make that clear (if, as you said, she's a very passive person).

I think about how your parents would feel around their granddaughter, if every time they said or heard her name, it brought back memories of the saddest and most terrible event that a human being can live through: the death of their own child.

I imagine, as a mother and a grandmother myself, how I would feel about your happy, healthy Jasmine, knowing that my Jasmine- my own IRREPLACEABLE child- was dead.

And although it doesn't reflect that well on me as a person, and although your mother might feel entirely differently... I personally would prefer, in this situation, that the new child have her own name.

Just my two cents.

Last edited by Kali333; 04-10-2011 at 09:07 AM.

 
Old 04-10-2011, 10:06 AM   #4
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Re: Is this a form of honor to the dead?

In some cultures, including my own Jewish tradition, the name of a beloved dead relative is the best name for a baby. I'm proud to have been named after my great-grandmother, and my brother was named for our grandfather. (The names were modified to make them sound better in English.) Part of it is hoping that the baby inherits some of what made his or her namesake a good person.

I think it's a beautiful idea.

 
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