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Old 05-30-2011, 09:33 PM   #1
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Inmemoryofmom HB User
Pushed into adulthood

Hi. My mom just passed away in January, and I turned 19 in February. My mom was in the hospital for a month before she died, each week getting better, and being moved to rehabs planning to eventually come home, and then her last week went downhill so fast. My mom had ms, and when she was brought to the er, because she almost died in December, they found that she had blood clots in her legs and lungs (pulminary embolisms). My family and I never thought that she would have died, she was getting better, or so we thought. Me and my sisters went to see her on the last, and I remember her saying that she was hot, but she was cold to the touch. So, I think that the clots in her lungs caused low blood pressure, and her organs, not having enough oxygene to keep them going, slowly shut down. So, when we got the call to come in, she had a lung pump thing (i don't know the medical term) down her throat to force her lungs to work, so she couldn't talk to us. It sucked not being able to hear her voice one last time, and she kept trying to take it out to say something, and now I constantly think about what she was trying to say.
I think about and miss her all the time, she was my bestfriend, she was my everything,and now, I just feel so lonely, and so out of my element. I am an adult now, and I don't really know how to be one, if that makes sense.

 
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thesearch (05-31-2011)
Old 05-31-2011, 02:16 AM   #2
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Re: Pushed into adulthood

First, let me offer you my most sincere condolences on your mothers passing. I wish there were something I could do except offer you words of support and understanding. I know you must feel quite overwhelmed right now, with so much ahead of you that you had planned on having your mom to guide you through, but she will still be guiding you, as you recall her words, and her lessons from your whole life with her. When you need her help, just look deeply into your soul, and I am sure she will offer you what every you need, as it is already deep inside you..planted there by your mother from your birth.

I am a mother of two sons, one who is 17, I too have serious health issues, and my biggest fear would be to have to go before I think he is ready to life without me, but I know inside, that I have been sharing everything I have with him everyday of his life, and my thoughts and my love will always be there for him, no matter when I have to go. Of course she never meant to have to leave you, but you will always have her, as you are a huge part of her already.

I hope my words help the least bit, and I will check up on you if you are still here...it would be my pleasure to offer you any comfort I can, you will be ok, give yourself all the time you need, and love yourself, and be patient with yourself. Please give yourself a warm hug from me.,..I feel very deeply for you tonight...

Janet

 
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:09 AM   #3
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thesearch HB User
Re: Pushed into adulthood

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inmemoryofmom View Post
Hi. My mom just passed away in January, and I turned 19 in February. My mom was in the hospital for a month before she died, each week getting better, and being moved to rehabs planning to eventually come home, and then her last week went downhill so fast. My mom had ms, and when she was brought to the er, because she almost died in December, they found that she had blood clots in her legs and lungs (pulminary embolisms). My family and I never thought that she would have died, she was getting better, or so we thought. Me and my sisters went to see her on the last, and I remember her saying that she was hot, but she was cold to the touch. So, I think that the clots in her lungs caused low blood pressure, and her organs, not having enough oxygene to keep them going, slowly shut down. So, when we got the call to come in, she had a lung pump thing (i don't know the medical term) down her throat to force her lungs to work, so she couldn't talk to us. It sucked not being able to hear her voice one last time, and she kept trying to take it out to say something, and now I constantly think about what she was trying to say.
I think about and miss her all the time, she was my bestfriend, she was my everything,and now, I just feel so lonely, and so out of my element. I am an adult now, and I don't really know how to be one, if that makes sense.
Hi i really feel for you! My mum passed away in feb 2008 her situation was completely different to yours. She had some strange symptoms i told her to see the doctor and she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Her diagnosis was on the 19th of Dec 07 and she passed away on 19th feb 08. She was told she'd have 12 to 14 months to live but she didn't even make it to have radiotherapy. She brought up my three sisters my brother and myself so now all we have is each other and four of us were in our twenties our youngest sister was a teen. It has been so hard. We have all become so much stronger now and my siblings have really amazed me my sister went from working in a nursery to becoming a dental nurse she has been financing her own place to live and working everyday. The only way to learn how to be is by doing it and don't worry about people judging you by the way you work it out. I can bet you your mum would have simply been trying to let you how much she cared for you but you know deep down that she did. She would want you to live a really good life so you need to embrace life live it the best you can (i'm sure you know all this anyway). It's so unfair that these things happen big hugs to you x

 
Old 06-02-2011, 06:01 AM   #4
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Location: Grand Prairie, TX USA
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texasbart HB User
Re: Pushed into adulthood

I'm so sorry about your mom. I too was pushed into adulthood many years ago. Dad died when I was 16 then mom died when I was 19. I know the grief you are facing now and the uncertainty. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful man to stand with me, whom I married. We were married for 41 years when he unexpectedly passed away 3 weeks ago. Once again I am facing that uncertainty and feeling alone. All I can say is that time will help. I know that is not very comforting at this time. Give yourself time to grieve. You will find that inner strength to go on and live a very fulfilling life. Surround yourself with family and friends and allow them to help you. I wish you the best and am sending you hugs.

 
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