how do I confront my son-in-law? his mother passed away friday..we think she took to much of something and it killed her...but everything won't come back for months to find out...she had 3 kids and a precious grandbaby born on monday so he was only 4 days old when it happened...at one time me and her didn't get along to well because before my daughter married her son...I would come home from work with my daughter in tears because of this lady...I know I've been pretty low in my life but what I don't really understand is how could someone leave their family behind? I don't know what words I can express to my son-in-law..I don't think it's hit him really yet..please help or if you been through something like this let me know thanks
It is good of you to want to comfort your SIL. I lost my dad, then 5 weeks later my mom pased. I've been there.
You can't do anything that is going to make him go through this any easier. All you can do is to be there and offer comfort. Tell him how bad you feel for him and how sad you are to see him suffering. Tell him that you care and what can you do to help him? Don't talk down about his mother, and if you didn't get along with her, just forcus on him and your daughter and their sense of loss.
What you think may have been a suicide, may have indeed been an accident. Many drugs can interact in strange ways and cause death when taken the same way as before, and the person was okay. This even happens with street drugs. Lost my nephew when he used a drug he'd been abusing for 10+ years and his body just couldn't take even one more "regular" dose.
Sometimes bad things happen but usually, without a note, is not a suicide.
Just give him comfort but it is not appropriate to ask if it was a suicide or talk about your suspicions. He will get a report in time.
And again, it will probably be ruled an accidental death as most are. Leave it at that. It's tragic enough.
Thanks Ya'll....I'm not treating like she did over dose. even though thats what my son-in-law thinks.. I work in a place where lots of people come in and they would say I heard about your daughters mother-in-law and they will say what they heard and I will stop them and tell them the test haven't came back yet..so I'm not treating it as if she did do something she shouldn't have..I just went by what my son-in-law said...she was a diabetic....she had a lot of emotional problems...I really think she didn't mean to take to much of something myself it was more of she did take something but she thought it wouldn't hurt her and everyone would rush by her side almost like for attention and it just went to far..they think she might have got sick in her sleep and it went back in her lungs.. I just feel so bad...I watched my grandbaby today so my daughter could go to her two week appointment herself..I really don't think my son-in-law has dealt with it yet and I don't know how to help him and my dauther is almost at a lost..he told her when he goes to his moms house he pretends when he's in the smoking porch that she's in the livingroom and when he's in the livingroom she's out there smoking..I'm not sure what to think..I just told my daughter when it finally hits him she really needs to be there for him and it's going to be hard thing for him to get through and he's going to need her