It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Death & Dying Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-14-2011, 05:12 PM   #16
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

is drugs the only thing they rule out in the us if there was foul play surely they would have noticed something my son waited 10 days to be cremated but surley if they release the person there cant be foul play but im only guesing take care x

 
Old 07-14-2011, 07:43 PM   #17
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,070
katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Hi, sorry to hear of your heartbreak, I sincerely wish that you get the answers you desire. Drugs are not the only thing the rule out in an autopsy in the U.S. They look for disease/illness, drugs/alchohol levels, poison, marks of any kind that might have come from being strangled or such. They do careful body scans and check for any and all fingerprints on the body, any types of foreign matter or material, it is all scrutanized very carefully. They can only keep a body for so long before it needs to be released for burial or cremation. Usually if there are unanswered questions then they ask the family to bury the body and not cremate, just in case they need access to it later. So it's a fairly tedious job that they do.

Unfortunately sometimes though, they just don't find anything. People do die from natural causes for unknown reasons....it's awful because the families don't get the closure they need, but it does happen.

My sister died when I was 13, she was a grand mal seizure epileptic and was never allowed to take baths, just in case. she was at her inlaws house and took a bath and the story was that she had a seizure and drowned. Yet know one new anything was wrong until the water form the overflowing tub was 1/2" deep in the living room......and why was she in the tub anyway and not in the shower.....lots of unanswered questions and suspicions, esp. when her Airforce husband collected the death benefits and ran off without paying for the funeral or anything. It sucks not having answers.

But the one thing you can focus on your son is in a much better place now, he can be your guardian angel and watch over you. I know this is little consolation and you'd much rather have him here....

Once again so very sorry for your loss.

Kat

 
The Following User Says Thank You to katlin09 For This Useful Post:
chattycatty67 (07-14-2011)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-14-2011, 09:05 PM   #18
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

No, I believe in my nieces case, they checked for all types of poisons and of course examined her body for any bruising or other things that would show up if someone caused harm to her. In our case, if there is foul play, it has to be some type of drug or poison that was untraceable or had to be looked for specifically because absolutely no cause of death could be determined in our case. The medical examiner sent tissue sample off to another state and claims he will leave no stone unturned and refuses to sign off on the death certificate unitl he knows exactly why she is gone. He seems as determined to get to the bottom of this as we are. We are thankful for that.

I can't think of anyone who would want to hurt my niece. She was a friend to everybody. If this is the case in her death, this person really covered their tracks and knew what to use or how to do this. I hate to even think someone could have harmed her, but nothing else is making sense.

Please keep in touch and let me know if you find out anything in your son's case. I will be praying for you.

 
Old 07-14-2011, 09:10 PM   #19
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,070
katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Chatty,

Didn't you say her kids were home with her? I mean if there'd been anyone there that might have hurt her, the kids would surely tell you or your sister......

kat

and by the way it's been along time since I've been in Killeen. But I am a fellow Texan, raised in Kingwood, South of Houston.

Last edited by katlin09; 07-14-2011 at 09:12 PM. Reason: forgot to add something

 
Old 07-14-2011, 10:31 PM   #20
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Hi Kaitlin,

I have been here in Killeen about 10 years. My husband recently retired from the Army, which is what brought us here in the first place, but I am originally from Mississippi, which is where my niece lived.

Yes, her children were home. Her son is 5 years old and her daughter is 3 years old. The som says he went to a neighbors to play and when he came back "mommy wouldn't wake up." The 3 year old was sleeping. The only other person that we know of that was at the house that day her husband. Who left for work around the same time the son went out to play. One time the son stated that his mommy wouldn't wake up for him or his daddy, but when asked about it again, he said daddy left for work. So...we don't know if something possible happened after the son went out to play, if someone came to the house while he was at the neighbors, or..if she just sat down and died. We do not want to make her son talk about it, we are just trying to gently get answers when he brings it up, but he will say something, then put his hand over his mouth as if to say he can't talk about it or doesn't want to talk about it and we certainly don't want to force him to talk about it.
He broke my heart last night because he was playing the Wii and one of the little characters had his mom's name on it. He told me that was his mom's name and he wanted to play her character, so I told him to go ahead, I would watch him play. He then said, "my mom is dead." I said "I know baby, but we are all so proud of you for going to get help for your mom. You did such a good job." He said; "yeah, I know. I will just be glad when she comes back alive. I am going to hug her and hug her." I had to leave the room, I got so upset. It was at that moment we (my sister & I) realized, he did not understand what death was. He thinks his mom went somewhere and is coming back. His father had told us, he talked to him and explained death, heaven and angels and he understood, but I guess that isn't the case. I hope he will take our advice and get both of these babies counceling. They are both already showing signs of being angry and their behavior has changed. They go back to their dad in MS on Sunday. I know it will be so hard for my sister to let them go.

Please do not misunderstand me...we are not accusing her husband, or anyone else for that matter of harming her, but at this point there are so many questions, I think we are trying to think of any and all possibilities. I pray to God that it was natural and something none of us could have predicted or prevented.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 04:38 AM   #21
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Quote:
Originally Posted by chattycatty67 View Post
Hi Kaitlin,

I have been here in Killeen about 10 years. My husband recently retired from the Army, which is what brought us here in the first place, but I am originally from Mississippi, which is where my niece lived.

Yes, her children were home. Her son is 5 years old and her daughter is 3 years old. The som says he went to a neighbors to play and when he came back "mommy wouldn't wake up." The 3 year old was sleeping. The only other person that we know of that was at the house that day her husband. Who left for work around the same time the son went out to play. One time the son stated that his mommy wouldn't wake up for him or his daddy, but when asked about it again, he said daddy left for work. So...we don't know if something possible happened after the son went out to play, if someone came to the house while he was at the neighbors, or..if she just sat down and died. We do not want to make her son talk about it, we are just trying to gently get answers when he brings it up, but he will say something, then put his hand over his mouth as if to say he can't talk about it or doesn't want to talk about it and we certainly don't want to force him to talk about it.
He broke my heart last night because he was playing the Wii and one of the little characters had his mom's name on it. He told me that was his mom's name and he wanted to play her character, so I told him to go ahead, I would watch him play. He then said, "my mom is dead." I said "I know baby, but we are all so proud of you for going to get help for your mom. You did such a good job." He said; "yeah, I know. I will just be glad when she comes back alive. I am going to hug her and hug her." I had to leave the room, I got so upset. It was at that moment we (my sister & I) realized, he did not understand what death was. He thinks his mom went somewhere and is coming back. His father had told us, he talked to him and explained death, heaven and angels and he understood, but I guess that isn't the case. I hope he will take our advice and get both of these babies counceling. They are both already showing signs of being angry and their behavior has changed. They go back to their dad in MS on Sunday. I know it will be so hard for my sister to let them go.

Please do not misunderstand me...we are not accusing her husband, or anyone else for that matter of harming her, but at this point there are so many questions, I think we are trying to think of any and all possibilities. I pray to God that it was natural and something none of us could have predicted or prevented.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 04:41 AM   #22
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

thank you for your replys i will post as soon as i get my sons results i hope we all get answers its not ever going to bring our loved ones back but we do need to know i think most poisins would show up the only one ive heard that dosnt show up is insulin but thats only what ive been told xxxx

 
Old 07-15-2011, 05:17 AM   #23
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Hi Sharon,

I heard the same thing about insulin and have been researching everything I can get my hands on to see if this is true-how much would have had to be administered and whether it would have to be injected or if could have been ingested. So far, I don't know for sure any of those details, but will keep looking.

I will also be sure to post, if/when we get some answers.

Thanks to everyone one here for such wonderful support.

 
Old 07-15-2011, 09:23 AM   #24
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

its not realy easy to get insulin and if u get it from the doctor you have 2 use it as diabetics cant survive without it so i realy dont think it would be that x

 
Old 07-15-2011, 02:35 PM   #25
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

I was thinking the same thing Sharon. I guess if you know someone who is diabetic, it wouldn't be that hard to get, but I hate to think that way. I try to get my mind to go other directions because I honestly do not think anyone would harm my niece and I pray the same for your son.
I am sure that in the coming weeks we will get the answers we so desperately need and I hope you do too.

 
Old 07-16-2011, 12:52 PM   #26
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

hi chatty i think we all tend to suspect foul play but im sure they would have checked that mabie we just look for an answer to why it happened ive had some strange things going on in my head did they let the burual or cremation go ahead they did with my son and as it was cremation the took samples to check i know in our heads we feel that its impossible for a young healthy person just to die my son was dancing to the wi in a neighboures house with his daghter a few hours before he died but i know we might not get any answers and that makes it so much worse right now im pushing everyone away from me as i feel suicidal but i supose i wouldnt be normal if i didnt feel that way xxxx

 
Old 07-16-2011, 03:46 PM   #27
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Hi Sharon,

In the case of my niece the burial did go ahead. It took us 4 days to get her back from the state examiner's office and she was buried on day 6. They also took samples from her and sent them off to some specialty lab in another state.

It is so scary to think we may never have answers. Like your son, my niece was in the best mood hours before. We were talking on Facebook and planning a family reunion--she was so excited about having the whole family together.

My sister is so depressed and I am afraid she is suicidal. I live 2 hours from her but I try to call her several times a day and check on her. SHe has a son and 4 grandchildren so I do not think she would ever take her own life and do that to them, plus we lost my sister to cancer a few years back and I think she knows our mother would never survive losing another child, so I don't think she would ever intentionally harm herself, but I am scared she will grieve herself to death. I am heartbroken over our loss, so I can only imagine what you & my sister are feeling.

Like you, we have all had things going through our heads about what could have happened. maybe we just need someone to blame when something like this happens, but if the person we feel may have harmed my niece is innocent of doing anything, he sure isn't helping matters with his actions.

I know everything will be chacked out and we will get an answer or at least an answer as to whether or not it was foul play. If we never know the exact cause it will drive us all insane because like you said, it is hard to imagine someone who is completely healthy just dying with no explanation.

I am always here if you need to talk and I will send you my email address if you would like. We can't change things for one another, but it is nice to know someone out there truly understands what you are going through.

 
Old 07-16-2011, 04:36 PM   #28
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 730
SHARON1952 HB UserSHARON1952 HB User
Re: unexplained death

i know what u are all going through i have 2 other children who try to stay away from us as much as possible i know they need help to deal with this but i cant help them or ourselfs i hope we both get some answers soon god bless take care xxxx

 
Old 07-17-2011, 08:43 PM   #29
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 109
db851 HB Userdb851 HB Userdb851 HB User
Re: unexplained death

I wanted to jump on here and tell you how sorry I am for you and your family's loss, as well. Two years ago my 31 year old brother in law died. He was at a cook out, had been playing volleyball all day, and was sitting down in a chair telling hunting stories when he closed his eyes for the last time. We were/are all devastated. He always included everbody, and lived for family get togethers. In many ways he brought our family closer together, as we were not always a real tight knit clan, prior to my sister marrying him. They had twin three year old girls, and my sister has been a mess ever since. I still have my down days a couple of years later. Our situation is a little different than yours in that the autopsy revealed one of the arteries going to his heart was actually too narrow for blood to get back in. Apparently it was a birth defect that gave him absolutey no symptoms. The hard part, and the one I wish would not have been shared with us, is that it was an easy fix had it been diagnosed. Anyway, I know its different, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was, and I too hope you get the answers you desire. I remembered the pain of first knowing when I read your first post, and of course do not wish it on anybody. Take care.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to db851 For This Useful Post:
SHARON1952 (07-18-2011)
Old 07-17-2011, 09:41 PM   #30
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Killeen, TX
Posts: 14
chattycatty67 HB User
Re: unexplained death

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry for your family's loss as well. Thank you for sharing your story.

I really think with my niece it will turn out to be an arrhythmia. Of course when it first happened, I thought aneurysm, then I thought maybe a bllod clot (she had been in a bad car wreck 3 months prior)-it turned out to be none of those, so then we remembered she had a cyst removed from the very top of her leg, near her groin, very close to the artery about 3 years ago and had told my mother that it felt as though it was coming back, just 2 weeks prior...so then I thought sepsis or something to do with infection and that artery, but still the coroner said that wasn't it. I even thought maybe she had taken something for the pain in her leg and took too much or forgot she took it and took more, but they found nothing in her system. For about 2 months prior to her death, it seemed like she stayed sick--always had a headache/stomach ache and just never felt good.
I would rather it be an arrythmia than it turn out to be something that if caught in time could have been fixed--I am so sorry your family is having to deal with that. I will keep you all, especially your sister and those babies in my prayers.
Again, thank you for sharing this.
Hugs & prayers,
Cat

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
For anyone afraid of death please read about what happened to me Spring Fever Death & Dying 9 10-23-2012 10:12 PM
Bad fear of death Jada62 Anxiety 13 04-27-2012 11:36 AM
I am so terrified of death wwwgirl Death & Dying 27 11-05-2011 04:06 PM
The emotions of death dustydigger Death & Dying 23 04-08-2011 09:26 AM
How do I deal with my mothers death??? sassybluechicag Death & Dying 4 07-11-2010 02:33 AM

Tags
death, dying, unexplained



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (7), MSNik (5), slenderella (5), rosequartz (4), renko (4), Ivorygirl (3), rudiraven (3), beth468 (3), writeleft (3), EagleRiverDee (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:43 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!