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Old 08-05-2011, 04:10 AM   #1
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Unhappy My Mom passed away

My mom just passed on 7/25/11 just 10 days after her 91st birthday party. I was her caregiver for a number of years and she was the matriarch of the family. I was able to keep it together for the funeral arrangements and memorials. But just today, I began to freak out. My mom is gone. What am I gonna do without her? I feel so alone even though my husband has been great, it's not the same.

I'm not used to grieving. The last time I lost a close family member was my dad in 1981 of heart disease when I was pregnant with my son. I wasn't able to grieve then either. Everyone told me it wasn't safe for the baby.

Is this normal? It hurts so much!

 
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:27 AM   #2
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Re: My Mom passed away

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died 46 years ago and I still miss her and wish she was here. You had your mom a long time but you still miss her. You can try to find a grief group to talk to others about your loss and sadness. It may help to talk about it and to listen to others and how they have coped with grief. Best wishes to you. Even a close friend who will take time to go to coffee or listen to you and cry with you would be great too.

 
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:02 AM   #3
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Re: My Mom passed away

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like your mom had a good long life, and was lucky to have such a caring daughter to take care of her. Let the tears flow, they are therapeutic.....

 
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Old 08-05-2011, 01:23 PM   #4
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Re: My Mom passed away

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Originally Posted by renko View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died 46 years ago and I still miss her and wish she was here. You had your mom a long time but you still miss her. You can try to find a grief group to talk to others about your loss and sadness. It may help to talk about it and to listen to others and how they have coped with grief. Best wishes to you. Even a close friend who will take time to go to coffee or listen to you and cry with you would be great too.

 
Old 08-05-2011, 01:26 PM   #5
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Re: My Mom passed away

Since she lived such a long and full life, everyone thinks I should let it go. But we had such a special bond that only a mother and daughter have. I feel like a have a lump in my heart that needs to be released. Thank you. I will look for a group that deals with the death of a loved one.

 
Old 08-05-2011, 02:17 PM   #6
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Re: My Mom passed away

Your mom will always be in your heart and never let her memories go. Yes, it will be difficult since you saw your mom in many phases of her life with you and you were so fortunate to have that time together. I know God will comfort your heart and give you good memories and pictures to remember and look at. It takes time to grieve so take your time and talk to others about her if you need to. Be with those who are not impatient about your grieving process. Take care of yourself. That is what she would have wanted for you to enjoy the rest of your life with family and friends.

 
Old 08-05-2011, 08:55 PM   #7
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Re: My Mom passed away

I'm not sure there is a "normal" for this....everyone reacts in their own ways. Your mom had a long, long life, and it sounds like she enjoyed it and her daughter very very much. Don't let anyone tell you it's not right to grieve or put a time stamp on when your supposed to be "better".

Grieve, not for your mom, cuz she's in a better place than this messed up world, but for yourself and your loss. Cry, yell, go outside and throw things....whatever you need to do to deal with your pain and adapt to this next phase of your life. You will hurt like hell, but it will get easier, not better, but easier. You'll always have your mom with you, you can probably look all around your home and see her everywhere....*s* cherish that.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers,

kat

 
Old 08-07-2011, 01:37 AM   #8
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Re: My Mom passed away

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I'm not sure there is a "normal" for this....everyone reacts in their own ways. Your mom had a long, long life, and it sounds like she enjoyed it and her daughter very very much. Don't let anyone tell you it's not right to grieve or put a time stamp on when your supposed to be "better".

Grieve, not for your mom, cuz she's in a better place than this messed up world, but for yourself and your loss. Cry, yell, go outside and throw things....whatever you need to do to deal with your pain and adapt to this next phase of your life. You will hurt like hell, but it will get easier, not better, but easier. You'll always have your mom with you, you can probably look all around your home and see her everywhere....*s* cherish that.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers,

kat
Thanks for your words of wisdom. Today I went to mom's house and laid on her bed and cried my eyes out. I told no one. It's for me and me alone.

 
Old 08-07-2011, 06:41 PM   #9
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Re: My Mom passed away

I didn't suggest to let it go at all and maybe other people don't mean it that way either when we say she had a long life....I mean be happy you had her as long as you did. She will always be with you. I'm sorry again for your loss.

 
Old 08-07-2011, 07:53 PM   #10
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Re: My Mom passed away

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Originally Posted by mijacons View Post
Thanks for your words of wisdom. Today I went to mom's house and laid on her bed and cried my eyes out. I told no one. It's for me and me alone.
Sounds like the exact thing you needed to do. If you ever need/want to talk I'm always around.

Take care,

Kat

 
Old 09-01-2011, 06:30 PM   #11
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Re: My Mom passed away

Hi!

We are in the same boat
My dad passed away in jan of this year and Mom on June 15th
She was going on 90 this month. Dad was 92
They lived next door to us for 8 yrs.
I feel so lost now..
Its a relief tho,,cause both had numerous strokes, seizures, etc
very painful for all.

I am so used to talking to her everyday...so its just a bit strange

Hang in there.and write me

Chris

 
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