As my deceased brother's birthday is tomorrow,i feel a morbid sense of needing to communicate words to The Grim Reaper:
You took not only my brother(8/19/90) but also my mother(4/25/02) and I don't appreciate it one bit.
In the grand scheme of things,I know that you're just doing your job but wish you would've sought other employment;like a gardener,that plants things so they can blossom.Come to think of it,I suppose you had no choice in the matter.
For the aforementioned reason,I don't know whether to hate you,your actions or simply the nature of death itself.
Death is the finality of a human's existence and the reason I can't be happy for either of them is because I formed a personal and emotional attachment to both.
I'll continue to persevere though;I know that they wouldn't expect any less of me and I suppose in doing so,they'll continue to watch over me and mines,protecting us existentially in a realm of spirituality.
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I suppose that seeing my mother die slowly and witnessing my brother being stabbed suddenly can actually put another's life into perspective.
Somberly stated
Phoenix
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Last edited by Phoenix; 08-31-2011 at 10:36 AM.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Phoenix angrygrr (09-10-2011), dee088 (08-31-2011)
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I'm so sorry for your loss and I understand the anger and sadness you feel. My mom died 46 years ago and I wish she had been on this earth longer to guide and be with me but I only had her for 10 years of my life. She adopted me because she couldn't have children and then she died when I was 12 years old. She adopted me when I was 2. She was a wonderful mom and I can be thankful that I had her that long in my life to teach me to love others and show compassion and I felt I belonged in a family. When she died my dad grieved and didn't want to take care of me anymore. It was 6 years of being invisible and ignored. So I thank God for my mom. I know you have many happy memories of your mom and brother. I hope you will look at pictures and remember their love for you and I wish you a good day.
The following user gives a hug of support to renko: Phoenix (09-01-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to renko For This Useful Post: Phoenix (09-01-2011)
So sorry for your losses. My Dad just passsed away last Monday. When his birthday rolls around next month I am going to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death. I truly think that's the way people would rather be remembered. I know it's so hard.
The following user gives a hug of support to slenderella: Phoenix (09-01-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to slenderella For This Useful Post: Phoenix (09-01-2011)
I'm sorry for your recent loss. I have to say I hate death but according to the Bible it is our last enemy. As a Christian and a believer I know that those in Christ will be with Christ in heaven for eternity and that is a long time. I also know there will be no sickness, tears or death in heaven and I look forward to that and that is my hope. I hope you have faith in Christ who died to give you hope to see your loved ones in Him. He is the resurrection and the life and because he raised from the dead, we also will to be with our loved ones in heaven. That is my belief and I am comforted by this. Best wishes and celebration of your dad, mom and brother's life. God bless.
Phonix, my sympathies are with you. Grief is so hard to bear but it is one of many emotions we try and fail to grasp. Just remember they love you and you love them - forever.
The Following User Says Thank You to dee088 For This Useful Post: Phoenix (09-01-2011)
Thank you for your honest, coherent post about the losses in your life.
It's 4 years to the day my brother took himself out of this life.
I quote Lord of the Rings.
No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
but I think the way you lost your mother, slowly and your brother swiftly is especially cruel.
I just wanted to say I am sorry.
Sometimes, I feel the worst part of the loss of my brother is what am I supposed to do with the memories? What am I supposed to do with the severed connection to our relationship that I am left holding?
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: angrygrr Phoenix (09-30-2011)
Thank you for your honest, coherent post about the losses in your life.
It's 4 years to the day my brother took himself out of this life.
I quote Lord of the Rings.
No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
but I think the way you lost your mother, slowly and your brother swiftly is especially cruel.
I just wanted to say I am sorry.
Sometimes, I feel the worst part of the loss of my brother is what am I supposed to do with the memories? What am I supposed to do with the severed connection to our relationship that I am left holding?
The following user gives a hug of support to angrygrr: Phoenix (09-11-2011)
It's 4 years to the day my brother took himself out of this life.
I think the way you lost your mother, slowly and your brother swiftly is especially cruel.
I just wanted to say I am sorry.
Sometimes, I feel the worst part of the loss of my brother is what am I supposed to do with the memories? What am I supposed to do with the severed connection to our relationship that I am left holding?
Life has chosen to show me death from two vantage points but I just began to notice something;it was a means of helping to prepare me for what I had and will have to endure in the future....I am beginning to put the pieces together.
Sorry to hear about your brother.
Some memories are to be cherished and the others taken into perspective,as no one truly erases memories like chalk on a board.
How about we both honor the death of our loved ones by stating there were good times and bad times but if it weren't for the bad times,how would we truly appreciate the good ones?
One to grow on,I suppose.
Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
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The following user gives a hug of support to Phoenix: angrygrr (09-10-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post: angrygrr (09-10-2011)
Never lose faith. Im not sure if you are religious or not. But one thing that is very universal to know. Keep moving on, strengthening yourself. I can also relate with death. I've had many of loved ones and friends die this year. Sometimes we may not know how to cope with the loss, but I do know letting it out not with anger, not with frustration, but just understanding that God(in my perspective) is in control. Yes we will grief, of course, like you said we built attachments to these people. Emotional, physical, spiritual. At the same time, this world we live in is but a vapor, we don't know when we are going to die so thats why we must live like we're dying. I am truly sorry for your loss, but greater things have yet to come. You will see, never give up. Please. God bless you.
The Following User Says Thank You to markfromHI For This Useful Post: Phoenix (09-30-2011)
Sometimes, I feel the worst part of the loss of my brother is what am I supposed to do with the memories? What am I supposed to do with the severed connection to our relationship that I am left holding?
My dear,memories are to be cherished;one can learn from both extremes of the spectrum.
Here's the thing;the relationship isn't severed,it's changed from a physical and emotional one to a psychologically emotional extreme.
No one can really prepare for it but its' profound effect will either cause one to isolate from their emotions or embrace the "difficulty" created by one's death.
Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.
The following user gives a hug of support to Phoenix: angrygrr (09-30-2011)
Never lose faith.I am truly sorry for your loss, but greater things have yet to come. You will see, never give up. Please. God bless you.
Aloha markfromHI,
I hold on;until I can't any more and let go....as i'm proverbially falling,I seem to realize it eventually,then once again muster enough strength to grab a hold once again.
