Re: The waiting
I am so very sorry to hear of your heartbreak. My Dad just died last month, he and mom were married for 54 years and I know that she experienced exactly what you are, seeing my father succumb to leukemia. I agree that hospice is probably the way to go, if they deem that your husband is near death. There is only so much you can do.
My only advice for you is to do what my mom did at the end. Talk to your husband.
Tell him that you will be okay. Share memories if he is well enough to indulge you in conversation. Hold his hand and keep him comfortable. Let him feel your love for him.
My mother has also said that people are so greedy.... she remembers just the week prior to my Dad's diagnosis and rather swift downfall, she was complaining about it being boring that all they did was get in the car and drive to look in a store or grab a bite to eat, and in those last days ALL SHE WANTED was to have that "normal, boring life". I so understand where you are coming from.
Again, I am so sorry, and my prayers are with you and your husband. My Dad was a private man too, and he wanted to maintain his dignity, but if you have had enough I know that it will be in everyone's best interest...you AND your husband, if hospice can step in and get him comfortable and ready to leave this world. My heart goes out to you, I understand your pain.