Re: feeling guilty
I feel for you, I only can imagine what you are going through: thank for sharing with us. But please, dont feel guilty, you done nothing wrong. You done more than many people experience in their lives, you been a good daughter, good step daughter - you done it all.
Mom knows how much you love her, and she wouldn't want you there if you emotionally cant handle it. I am a mom and reading your story immediately made me think how would i feel on your place? I would feel same way, but as a mother can tell you right the way, I wouldn't want my kids to be with me and see me dying, I wouldn't want to see their tears and definitely wouldn't want them to drive in bad weather.
Your mommy is at piece, she needs time to say good bye. I heard and read so many stories when dying people couldn't go b/c relatives were near by and the minute someone leaves, they leave this Earth...
So please, let her go... You one strong person, you will find the way to coop, you will be OK dear...