The book that most helped me to work through my own emotions about death and to come to a sense of peace about it is On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
I think it is normal to feel all sorts of emotions about death, and healthy to allow ourselves and others to be where we are at. If we allow the emotions to come over us, cry, be angry, sad or whatever, we can go through the emotions and gain acceptance and peace.
Dean,
why are you having these thoughts in first place? Are you working, you have your family?
I heard therapy may help, I am sure they may have some books on this matter as well, but I would worry first why do you have thoughts like this?
I must state for the record,books do offer comfort at times but the way to the true human condition is in each one of us.
There may be similar qualities but we are all like snowflakes;similarities but no exactness to the qualities....
It's what makes us unique.
You will remain in my prayers
Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.
The Following User Says Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post: deanh (09-22-2012)
For someone as preoccupied with death as me and with many books, there is none on death. But I write pretend "books" (my form of therapy) and my current one is The Good Ending. I won't bore anyone with my thoughts, but I believe that with preparation we can face the inevitable and actually make it more bearable for those we leave behind.
There is John Gunther's book Death Be Not Proud, a loving tribute to his young dying son.
Thank you all for your advice. I have always struggled with death and the questions it leaves behind. I think now that I am in my mid forties and life has not turned out the way I had planned, I find myself thinking about death more. Even though no one close to me has died, I feel for the people who I have known and passed on. I feel like they were close to me. I often think about when my parents go, how am I going to survive. They have been so good to me. I realize how lucky I am to have both of them still but am petrified how I will be when they go. I have always been an over sensitive person, which is not good in extremes. I just cannot deal with the fact that people are living breathing creatures and then the are just gone.
Well, I'm the only one left of the first four of us. My life has been lived and so the exit door is so much closer. My biggest worry is the "how" not the "when" because father, mother, brother had horrifying endings. I accept the natural course of life and how it ends for everyone and anything in nature. But with all the medical advances there can be disastrous endings.
You are probably the age of my children. My biggest goal is to ease my inevitable end for them. That's what your parents want for you, no doubt. My two aren't thrilled when I talk about it, but I do it anyway. I tell them to think of our good times, remember me smiling and joking, and how lucky we have been.
Might add I'm waiting for Christopher Hitchen's book Mortality.
Well, I'm the only one left of the first four of us. My life has been lived and so the exit door is so much closer. My biggest worry is the "how" not the "when" because father, mother, brother had horrifying endings. I accept the natural course of life and how it ends for everyone and anything in nature. But with all the medical advances there can be disastrous endings.
You are probably the age of my children. My biggest goal is to ease my inevitable end for them. That's what your parents want for you, no doubt. My two aren't thrilled when I talk about it, but I do it anyway. I tell them to think of our good times, remember me smiling and joking, and how lucky we have been.
Might add I'm waiting for Christopher Hitchen's book Mortality.
I am so sorry. I really feel for you. It is not easy for anyone. Thank you for responding. I know you are right about my parents wants for me. Because I have no children I may never understand that feeling of a parent.
I am very bad about dealing with death, it seems to affect me more deeply then others.
Does anyone recommend any books on how to deal with it?
Thank you,
Dean
"Life After Death" is a good one. Also some others on near-death experiences.
These helped me alot. I am also bad about dealing with death, more so than others it seems. So yea, these were kind of comforting to me.
Dean,
why are you having these thoughts in first place? Are you working, you have your family?
I heard therapy may help, I am sure they may have some books on this matter as well, but I would worry first why do you have thoughts like this?
Best to you
Moldova
I am actually very fortunate. Both of my parents are both alive. I am turning 44 soon. I know a lot of people who have lost their parents. I have just found that I really feel bad for people who have to deal with this. I act like it is happening to me even when it is a stranger. I do have an obsessive problem which I take meds for but I find myself feeling really bad for the people going through the loss and I may not even know the person.
I am concerned because of when my parents go. I know I am going to be crushed. I can remember at a very young age like 6-7 years old laying in bed crying because some day my parents would be gone. They have also big so much a part of my life and been so good to me it just seems like I have no idea how I will cope. Both are relatively healthy but I know there is not a tremendous amount of time left with them as I felt when I was younger.
