AirGuitar

My brother's been dead about a week now. He was only 37 and he had a heart attack. I'm 29 and I've already buried all of my grandparents, both of my parents, a friend of mine, and now my only sibling. He was never married and had no kids, so I'm the official next of kin.

I feel really guilty. I hadn't seen my brother for three months before it happened. My husband and I just bought a house last month, but we started our search in January, and we've been so busy with the move and our jobs that I hadn't seen him since his birthday in February, even though I made sure to call him at least once every week. We were looking for a home near where he lived partially because we wanted to be closer to him and partially because we wanted to be closer to my work. And when we did find a good place, I made sure to tell him that he'll definitely see us way more often after the move (the appartment we live in right now is 2.5 hours away by bus and we don't drive). I also feel guilty over the fact that we weren't that close when we were kids. He was 7 years older than me, and we only got closer when I moved out two years ago. Even though my husband says I'm a great wife, and my friends say I'm a great friend, I feel like I could have done a better job in the sister department, and now I won't have that chance.