Feeling Miserable after moms death.
Its been 2 months since my mom passed away. She was not only a mother, but a good friend as well, with whom I used to share all my happiness & concerns. She was all healthy and just in a course of a week turned things upside down. She was identified with a heart problem and passed away in a weeks time. I was living a king-size life when my mother was there, but now i am nowhere.
I am terribly shattered and out of mind. My dad is at my home town and I am working at another city around 600kms apart. Even my dad is fully shattered. I travel down every weekend to my home town. Due to professional limitations, it is not practical for both of us to stay at the same town. Now I am scared of anything and everything. Eventhough I am married, employed with a good job and big enough to look after myself, i am highly worried as to how things are going to work in future without mom there. I feel that we are at the mercy of others.
I am scared if i will be able to take care of my father the same way as mom did. I am trying my level best, but I feel I am not able to manage him as easily as she used to. He is also getting old, and all ugly thoughts about how i will manage if something is needed is haunting me. Now our relatives are helping us in many things, but the feeling that what my mother used to do, is being done by somebody else is tearing me. I do know that they are doing all these for good.
I have even come to an extent that I have lost all the enthusiasm. My current approach to life seems to be something like - mom is not there, everything is over, there is no happiness for me now, so somehow lead a blank life and move forward.
Not sure if this is what is called depression.