you're very welcome, I'm glad you came back and posted.
I'm glad I could help you feel better in some small way.
I'm sorry you're still struggling with his departure. One of the things that helped me when my dad died was to make a list of memories. I started writing down things, and then more came to mind. Stuff that I had forgotten about, little things like playing marbles, my dad teaching me to bowl and keep score, and challenging me to bowl 3 games over 100 and he would buy me the bowling ball, then another game over 100 and he would get me the bag, and another game over 100 and he got me the shoes, teaching me to ride a bike without training wheels, giving me his pennies and I would sell them back to him for dimes and nickles and then a few minutes later ask him if he had any pennies.....
writing down these things on a list helped me remember things that I didn't want to forget and it also brought up memories long gone that made me smile thru the tears. You might try it, it's very therapeutic, at least it was for me.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom having Alzheimers. There is a great Alzheimers support board here with a lot of kind people if you have a chance to look at it. Also, sorry to hear about your brother not being there to help. What's his problem? Why is he like that? I just don't understand people like that. I'm an only child, so I know I'm the only one responsible for taking care of my mom now, but if you have siblings, it would be nice and it's expected that they should help!
Hang in there, what else can we do? Life is short, you sound like a wonderful, loving daughter. Keep posting, it helps!