Death of a co-worker
One of co-workers passed away very suddenly on June 29th. She literally went to bed one night and never woke up - she was only 40. She had a massive stroke that left her brain dead. I work in a small organisation so her death hit everyone really hard. It was such a shock for everyone. I couldn't go to the funeral - but two people from work did go. We had our own little ceremony at work for our co-worker, where we all got together outside, said a small prayer and let coloured helium balloons go. It was a beautiful sunny day and because we couldn't all go to the funeral, it was our way to say goodbye. We made sure we let the balloons go on the same day and same time as the funeral. It gave me closure but it was so hard to let go of those balloons.........afterwards a few of us were talking and we all agreed that it still didn't feel right, to say goodbye to a young and vibrant person.
I only knew my co-worker for a short time but during that time, I got to know her a bit and we worked closely together. I got along with her well and we often had little chats at work. It has hit me hard and I'm still trying to come to terms with her death. I can't seem to make sense of why such a young person had to pass away so suddenly. She wasn't sick and I was talking to her, with another co-worker, the night before she died. I still can't believe that we were chatting with her that night and then the next day, she was gone.
I have people to talk to about this but I think its affecting me in other ways too. I went away for a few days after my co-worker passed away and that helped. However, since I came back to work after my 2 week holiday (which I had already booked earlier in the year) I haven't felt like myself. I was sick with a virus last week and now I'm sick again this week. I'm normally a happy person but in the last couple of weeks, I've felt really down and unhappy. I feel like I can't get motivated. I have put on a brave face at work, pretending to be happy on the outside but on the inside, its a different story. I took a demotion at work recently and that has helped a lot.
Has anyone got any ideas on how I can feel happy again and how I can motivate myself??