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Old 01-21-2013, 01:30 AM   #1
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jacqline HB User
Unhappy Isolating

I am a 51 year old woman and have been suffering with constant pain in the back of my neck, and upper back. I was diagnosed with cervical degenerative disc disease, primarily at C5, C6 and C7, along with arthritis with bone spurs and stenosis. We don't know why this happened to my neck... I was not in a car accident or anything. I weigh about 119 lbs at 5'1", which is not bad and I used to exercise 3 to 4 times a week. Two months ago I underwent laser surgery at the Laser Spine Institute in Tampa. The pain is just as bad as before the surgery, although somewhat different. Prior to the surgery the pain felt more like a burning sensation. Now it feels like the worst back ache you've ever had, only in my neck. The only relief I get is when I am lying back with my head, neck and shoulders completely at rest. I take Soma and Lyrica, but even they don't help me when I have to walk around and do NORMAL things. The Soma is good for putting me to sleep. But I dont stay asleep through the night. I am taking more Soma than I know I should, but I am just trying to feel better. The result of all this is I am staying home more and more, away from people, and just lying around. I want to be out there living life.... I am not married and I would like to be. Last week I went for a consultation about returning to physical therapy. It was not encouraging. The therapist said PT won't alleviate my pain. In addition, he thought traction could actually make my condition worse. This operation I had at the Laser Spine Institute already aggravated my nerves instead of relieving the pain. My muscles are spasming like crazy. I just don't know what to do. I don't see how I can live this way. I have to work. I have a good job, but I've been thinking about the possibility of disability. But that would mean more isolation. Any help out there?

 
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:58 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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5catjenny HB User
Re: Isolating

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqline View Post
I am a 51 year old woman and have been suffering with constant pain in the back of my neck, and upper back. I was diagnosed with cervical degenerative disc disease, primarily at C5, C6 and C7, along with arthritis with bone spurs and stenosis. We don't know why this happened to my neck... I was not in a car accident or anything. I weigh about 119 lbs at 5'1", which is not bad and I used to exercise 3 to 4 times a week. Two months ago I underwent laser surgery at the Laser Spine Institute in Tampa. The pain is just as bad as before the surgery, although somewhat different. Prior to the surgery the pain felt more like a burning sensation. Now it feels like the worst back ache you've ever had, only in my neck. The only relief I get is when I am lying back with my head, neck and shoulders completely at rest. I take Soma and Lyrica, but even they don't help me when I have to walk around and do NORMAL things. The Soma is good for putting me to sleep. But I dont stay asleep through the night. I am taking more Soma than I know I should, but I am just trying to feel better. The result of all this is I am staying home more and more, away from people, and just lying around. I want to be out there living life.... I am not married and I would like to be. Last week I went for a consultation about returning to physical therapy. It was not encouraging. The therapist said PT won't alleviate my pain. In addition, he thought traction could actually make my condition worse. This operation I had at the Laser Spine Institute already aggravated my nerves instead of relieving the pain. My muscles are spasming like crazy. I just don't know what to do. I don't see how I can live this way. I have to work. I have a good job, but I've been thinking about the possibility of disability. But that would mean more isolation. Any help out there?
I understand the isolation thing. I have DDD, only lower back. Used to never quit moving, doing things, working a job.Now I stay home mostly, due to pain. I don't take part in what friends are doing, don't want to ruin their good time, or appear as a "sickly, whiny"person, so I just don't. I keep to doing things around the house till it hurts (spasms) I hate to "explain" what's wrong, I feel like a whiner doing that. I'll also say people avoid those who have a health problem! Friends stopped visiting. I guess they weren't really friends unless I showed up? Most of the time it doesn't bother me, sometimes there's hurt feelings when your friends disappear cause of a disability! I've carved out my own little life best I can. Even my husband has the same attitude as my friends-how nice. Know you're not alone with the isolation thing.

 
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Old 01-29-2014, 09:33 AM   #3
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jacqline HB User
Wink Re: Isolating

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5catjenny View Post
I understand the isolation thing. I have DDD, only lower back. Used to never quit moving, doing things, working a job.Now I stay home mostly, due to pain. I don't take part in what friends are doing, don't want to ruin their good time, or appear as a "sickly, whiny"person, so I just don't. I keep to doing things around the house till it hurts (spasms) I hate to "explain" what's wrong, I feel like a whiner doing that. I'll also say people avoid those who have a health problem! Friends stopped visiting. I guess they weren't really friends unless I showed up? Most of the time it doesn't bother me, sometimes there's hurt feelings when your friends disappear cause of a disability! I've carved out my own little life best I can. Even my husband has the same attitude as my friends-how nice. Know you're not alone with the isolation thing.
Hi there Jenny, if you're still around, I just wanted to say thank you for writing back and for your understanding words. There is comfort in empathy. I'm still in semi-seclusion but hoping it's temporary. I'm headed for a more traditional fusion surgery in 2 weeks to replace C6 C7 discs in my neck. Not thrilled about this idea, but the alternative is nothing but more pain with absolutely no remedy in sight. Well, wish me luck.

Jenny, I'm sorry your husband has lost some of his supportiveness for you. I know you understand... he's a bit worn down, and he might not even know how REAL your suffering is. But of course that attitude doesn't help you feel any better. It's a rare life companion who is really understanding and unconditionally supportive. I haven't found that person, and I'm so sick that I can't even think about looking til I feel better... if I ever do. So maybe you can find some gratitude in just having a husband to help with the groceries, and vaccuuming, and walking the dog, and digging the car out the snow, and driving to the doctor. I live alone. Even on my best days, it's sad when i have to do those things by myself. Just a thought. God bless you and hope you're feeling ok today.

 
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Old 03-08-2014, 08:50 AM   #4
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Winner, So. DAK.
Posts: 161
babyboomer6 HB Userbabyboomer6 HB User
Re: Isolating

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5catjenny View Post
I understand the isolation thing. I have DDD, only lower back. Used to never quit moving, doing things, working a job.Now I stay home mostly, due to pain. I don't take part in what friends are doing, don't want to ruin their good time, or appear as a "sickly, whiny"person, so I just don't. I keep to doing things around the house till it hurts (spasms) I hate to "explain" what's wrong, I feel like a whiner doing that. I'll also say people avoid those who have a health problem! Friends stopped visiting. I guess they weren't really friends unless I showed up? Most of the time it doesn't bother me, sometimes there's hurt feelings when your friends disappear cause of a disability! I've carved out my own little life best I can. Even my husband has the same attitude as my friends-how nice. Know you're not alone with the isolation thing.
I have DDD and have had five back surgeries. Just want you to know you are not alone in the husband and friend thing. I know my husband loves me, but he is rolling his eyes and acting like he's sick of the whole thing. Hang in there. I hope you are doing alright. Best wishes,Linda

 
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