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Old 06-24-2004, 05:36 PM   #1
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smokeyblue66 HB User
Dentures and dating

Good evening everyone! After weeks of searching the net I am so glad I came upon this message board. Everyone seems so caring and so real, which is why I feel comfortable enough to put my concerns 'out there'. So here goes......
I am 38 years old, and, like many of you, have come to the agonizing decision of getting dentures. How I got to this point is irrelevant....we all have our reasons.....but after years of suffering and humiliation, I feel this is the best solution for me. On Monday I will be getting full upper immediate dentures and a partial lower (I still have 9 very healthy teeth on the bottom). My dentist has been wonderful.....listening to my crying and addressing my endless questions and concerns and doing his best to alleviate my fears. He feels very confident that I am an ideal candidate for dentures (whatever that is) and that I will have great retention, especially with the uppers. I've done the research, read the horror stories and have spoken to people who have been through the same procedure. But there are some things that I am just not comfortable asking my dentist. I am a single woman, no children and enjoy an active social life, which includes dating....although at this time there is no one 'special' in my life. Without getting into detail, I'm just wondering how dentures effect personal relations.....what one can and cannot do for fear of embarrassment. I know this may sound silly to some people, but it's a concern for me, as I don't have the emotional support of a loved one as some other people do. I apologize if this is inappropriate, but like I said, this is an embarrassing question to ask one's dentist. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Lisa

 
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Old 06-24-2004, 11:54 PM   #2
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Toothless Wonder HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Hi Lisa

My experience with dentures has been a really positive one. My husband especially loves them and it has added a new dimension to our intimate relationship. He has always said that he fell in love with the essence of who I am as a person and has never been turned off by the fact that I wear dentures. Should you at any time date someone who feels negatively towards you because you happen to have dentures, then surely the person would not be worthy of you. A caring and considerate man would never make you feel bad about something that is so personal and an issue you may be sensitive about. Rather he would go out of his way to help you overcome any insecurities you may have. I wish you all the very best and hope your experience turns out to be a positive one. Do keep us posted.

Cheers
Charms

 
Old 06-25-2004, 12:26 AM   #3
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luvtocamp HB Userluvtocamp HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Getting dentures has also been a positive one for me too. I was already married tho, and I do understand your concerns. I think your attitude about them will dictate other peoples attitudes. It you treat it matter of factly I think they will. I have never felt the least bit ashamed about wearing dentures. The main thing is for them to fit well and after a while you won't even know your wearing them except to take them out and clean. A lot of people wear dentures, and many younger than you. Please hold your head high, smile and don't let this get you down. I'd rather be around a happy denture wearer than a depressed person with perfect teeth. Good luck and keep us posted.

 
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Old 06-25-2004, 05:10 PM   #4
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Re: Dentures and dating

Lisa, I too was already married when I was faced with dentures. I was also carrying my second child when my teeth failed so 10 weeks post partum I had my remaining teeth pulled and dentures put in. My husband was a big supporter as well as my close friends and family. Wearing dentures had given us a whole range of new experiences and a new understanding of what love and affection are. We have gotten closer since this experience and I do not look back- only forward!
As for dating with dentures, don't worry about it. The person your prospective date sees is who you want them to see. They will see a complete person. Not a person with false teeth. When you get to the point that intimacy is immenent then you can decide if you should tell your lover that you wear dentures or let him find out for himself. As was said above- your confidence and acceptance of the dentures will dictate how others view you. This is self improvement! If you are ashamed and embarrassed then others will feel that way about you. If you continue to take pride in your appearance then people will want to be with you. What ever happened in the past is just that- the past. This is a new chapter and you are the author- it can be whatever you want it to be.
There are lots of people with lots of experiences on here, ask questions, ask questions of real life denture wearers you may come in contact with. As hard a subject as dentures are to discuss, most denture wearers do seek the companionship of others.

And by the way, there is nothing you cannot do with dentures if you put your mind to it!

 
Old 06-26-2004, 09:01 AM   #5
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smokeyblue66 HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Thanks everyone for such encouraging words D-day is Monday....all the broken crowns, bridges and root tips will be removed and immediates put in. I'm going back and forth between fear of looking like a monster and excitment of having a beautiful smile. But I guess that's normal. Anyway, wish me luck and I will definitely keep you posted. Thanks again!
Lisa

 
Old 06-26-2004, 09:33 AM   #6
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dely1112 HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Smokeyblue: The questions you asked are probably #1 in questions asked. I think if you view other posts, I can imagine that those who are single would understandably be a little more anxious, because it is a situation you have to decide whether to share, when, etc., that those of us that's been through it with a particular person don't have to go through. But the answers you received are right on. I know in my case, even with my husband of almost 25 years, I had gotten to the point I didn't really want to kiss before my dentures, because I was worried about the looks and possible bad breath (my husband is the kind that would have known I was horrified by the thought, and even when I asked, I'm sure he wouldn't tell me the truth Getting dentures really improved my self esteem, and I can be right up in his face and feel like he is looking at me, and not my failed teeth. You will be surprised how quickly you adjust to them. I've often thought, other than eating - which isn't terrible, but probably the biggest issue in the adjustment -- it really hasn't been the ordeal I invisioned it would. I think sometimes my husband forgets, because he'll kiss me so forceful, it doesn't hurt but I'm afraid he's going to push them down my throat , I'll just say, easy going, and he'll back off. Now truth be known, "before" with my hurtful natural teeth, I wouldn't have ever allowed (at the end) even a partial forceful kiss, so that area has improved greatly. Besides, I like gentler better anyway LOL. In the end, these will be your teeth. They will be a part of you, and a part of who you are. For most of us, it is better - an adjustment, yes, but better. Good luck - and keep us posted on how you are doing!
Debbi

 
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Old 06-26-2004, 10:38 PM   #7
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martid HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Hey Dely, great post as usual, full of good advice, I enjoyed reading it. Marti

 
Old 06-27-2004, 04:19 PM   #8
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chego HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

Hi there
I don't have much time to respond on this but I think what the others have said is encouraging and will help you. I will 'talk' to you soon.

Chego

 
Old 12-02-2006, 04:07 AM   #9
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jack302 HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

I'm 39 yr old male and just got almost complete dentures 1 1/2 years ago. Mostly due to coca cola(the only ones left are the bottom front, where drinking said beverage isn't primarily affected), though I did have many issues with my teeth when I was young(6 removed to allow a "fangish" eye tooth to grow in-didn't work and damaged a great deal of enamel on my others in the process). My problem is, at my age, entering a dating relationship without their knowledge of my dentures creates a huge problem if things progress. Needless to say, anouncing them at the outset is not exactly a good thing to attract women. There's no way to hide it for long, and I wouldn't want to be deceptive anyways. I typed in "dating with dentures" on google and this was the only hit I got. Anyways, it's just nice to find some place to express my situation

 
Old 12-02-2006, 04:30 AM   #10
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Re: Dentures and dating

ok guys---when i met my second husband he was 37 and i was 40. until we knew that the relationship was going somewhere and marriage ws a real possibility. until then i never even knew he had a full set of dentures. didn't bother me at all and after 12 years of wedded bliss it still doesn't. i;m starting to have teethe probelms and know that if all mine come out he understand. that's what love is all about. you singel people will be fine. which ever poster noted that her and hubby think it enhances their intimate life i had to laugh. My husband talks about that several times a week how happy he will be when i have no teeth. LOL gotta love them.

 
Old 02-27-2009, 12:33 PM   #11
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Re: Dentures and dating

I can't begin to express how relieved I was to found this forum! I have been living in a nightmare for the last 2 years and now, at only 25!, my teeth are failing. Not only are they failing, they keep crowding more and more every day. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to afford all the dental costs and my only option now is to get temporary dentures
All I can ask for is to smile again. I feel ready but terrified of what the experience might be like. I must say I was comforted to hear so many of you say that you quickly adjusted, which makes for one less worry. I am faced with a decision and would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this:
I've been doing research for dental care at lower costs and found a few dental vacation facilities in Mexico. The clinic there asked me to stay for 2 weeks to complete the procedure. The entire procedure and my travel and lodging costs come out to something like $4600 CAD ($3625 US) ... The point is to save money and have some privacy. I hope I'm a candidate for implants, because if so I plan on getting them.
Does this sound like a save, or at the least, a good idea?
I'm also worried about the effect this will have on my relationship! I know I won't feel completely comfortable with taking off my dentures in front of him (even though I know it could be a new spectacular experience) ... I have faith we'll get through it, but you can't blame a 25 year old woman for worrying lol!
Also, I would love to hear some of your experiences! I gain comfort from sharing with others. I'm so grateful that I was able to find a place I can share my thoughts and feelings on this! Please feel free to message me, thanks

 
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Old 02-28-2009, 08:51 AM   #12
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Stribe HB User
Re: Dentures and dating

I see two problems with this:
1) It's done in mexico. Now, I can't say all work done in mexico is bad, just most of it. So just be careful, find people who have had work done by these same people.
2) 2 weeks means you are getting immediate TEMPORARY dentures, which they probably won't tell you. Your bone will change a lot over the first 3-6 months after you have teeth removed, and these dentures will need to be relined at your cost.

$3600 does not sound like that much savings.
If you are trying to save money, I would highly suggest finding a local dental school. They can make them for a fraction of what you mentioned and you can be assured of the quality as they will stand behind their work (and the reline you will need is included). If you want implants you can have them done too.

Look into it and weigh the options before you make this decision. Good luck with whatever you decide!

 
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