How can I help? - Dental Health Message Board

loopdaloop · 09-11-2005, 03:56 PM

Hello all,

My fiance recently had his upper teeth removed and now has upper dentures. He is having a very difficult time dealing with it. He is going through huge bouts of depression and anger over loosing his teeth. He had to have them removed due to severe gum disease. I have tried to be very supportive of him. Cook all soft foods, don't talk about foods I know he can't eat, tell him how nice he looks when he has his dentures in, but none of it seems to work. He refuses to wear them. I've sent him to this board so he could see the things he is experiencing is common (the excess saliva, the gag reflex setting off when he first puts them in, the difficulty talking..) but he simply refuses. He currently isn't working and keeps himself in the house because he is ashamed to go out. I keep telling him that the more he wears them at home, the more he will adjust. But my words are empty. Anyone have any ideas or any other words to help him? I know, if he would only get used to them, he would feel better. Have more confidence in himself and when he goes on interviews; but how can I convence him of this when he has just chose to shut everything out?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

betluu · 09-11-2005, 04:33 PM

Hi, I am so sorry for what you guys are having to deal with! I am 3 weeks post op having all my top teeth out due to gum diesease. I so understand how he feels. I was really there the first two weeks. I hated them, and suffered depression also. And I hated the way they feel in my mouth. But I kept wearing them, and talking about it on here, and have had so much encouragement from SO many people. It does get easier, and I know I still have a ways to go before I will feel normal again. But, each day gets a little easier. Wish I could say more to help. It's a really hard thing to deal with. How long has it been? The gagging can be dealt with some if it's really bad. And using more glue has helped my gag reflex some. Anyway, best of luck to you! Betty

CARAT414 · 09-11-2005, 06:14 PM

Mourning the loss of teeth is normal. I would never have believed that statement 4 months ago. I lost all my teeth and 75% of my jaw bone from an infection. Its hard to deal with especially when every where you look you see someone smiling at you with perfect teeth. I still have days that I get so upset about needing to wear dentures but then I think of the alternative of not having them or anything.

You are doing everything that you can to make things easier for him, it is just going to take time.

Toothless Wonder · 09-16-2005, 06:58 AM

Hi

It is a terrible situation to find oneself in and I feel for both of you. Society generally does not look favourably on people who suffer extreme toothloss. More often than not one is met with comments borne from ignorance that usually reflect on what the person should have done to avoid the loss of their teeth. For this reason, those of us that have gone through the experience of loosing our teeth and having to wear dentures are made to feel shame. In most cases (like my own) it is beyond anything you could or could not do. My teeth were fine but after going through the nasties of cancer, the toll the chemo had taken on my body caused them to deteriorate to the point where I was constantly in unbearable pain and my general health was negatively affected. At first it was difficult to accept that I would be losing all my teeth and that dentures was the only likely option. However, when I looked at the alternative of being in such ill health knowing full well that the root cause were my bad teeth, I succumbed to the inevitable. As per my previous post, I had all my teeth extracted at one sitting and waited three months for the gums to heal before being fitted with dentures. My medical plan was very limited and my dentist assured me that my dentures would fit far better in that way as the extraction sites would have healed and rounded to ensure a better fit. From all accounts, the immediate denture route does not afford this and is also a lot more costly. Initially I was self conscious about being seen in public without any teeth, but with the support of my husband, family, friends and colleagues I soon learned to adjust. In a situation like this one has to develop a tough hide to withstand the cruelty of the ignorant few out there.

What your boyfriend is experiencing is completely natural. He has suffered a great loss and he needs time to mourn. Your support at this time is invaluable and he is extremely lucky to have you. I hope that things improve in time and that he will understand there are greater benefits to be had in having really good fitting dentures than the threat to one's health that bad teeth/gum disease can cause.

Good luck and keep on posting. We are happy to offer any advice you may need.

Cheers
Charmaine

NOSMILEYET · 09-16-2005, 08:44 AM

Morning all, I just wanted to post a short message. I don’t participate frequently on the board but I examine the messages daily. I have gotten so much comfort from reading this dental board. I am still in the process of completing my dental treatment which does include implants, porcelain crowns and upper precision bridge work but, sometime it feel so overwhelming. It is that moment that i read an uplifting post and understand my feeling. I was feeling so ashamed of my appearance and so sensitive about everything. I finally had friend tell me to “hold my head up proudly and stop apologizing “. I may have bad teeth but I am not a bad person. Like the previous posters said, you have found the right place to post. .
Hope everyone is doing well
Diane.