Originally posted by StompOnRacism: |
dont know how to start this message off. I guess Ill talk about myself. I am a 16-year-old male from California. For the past year or so, I have had my self-esteem drop rapidly, I feel like Im a worthless mistake. I don't know where to begin, this could take forever. I am very ugly, and I believe this because girls have no interest in me and haven't shown any interest in years.
Dear Stomp, I hope you don't mind a 46-year-old woman responding to you, I don't want you to think I sound like a parent, but I recall I was actually once 16 and I HATED IT! I couldn't wait to be an adult I hated being a teenager so much. I had an affluent life, like yours, parents that spent the money to get my braces and I had friends, too. But, I had problems with depression that impaired my abilities to think clearly very difficult. And back in my day, there was no help for depression, especially not for a teenager. Our depression was just us feeling sorry for ourselves.
And frankly, my depression stayed with me well into my adult years--I still thought there was something ugly and unworthy about me. I didn't know I had a real problem that was treatable until I got a letter from my now deceased grandmother. It was a letter I wrote to her when I was 16 and it was a testament to how badly I felt emotionally and not knowing why.
Anyways, the depression goes on, but this weekend, it really got set off...My dad spent $3,000 to get my disgusting teeth straightened, then I loose my retainer, for the third time. Great. I don't even want to show my sorry self in public anymore.
You know, it sounds like you feel badly that you lost the retainer for the third time. Your nature you could actually be forgetful and little things like retainers just are hard for you to keep up with. But a parent will chalk it up to you being irresponsible or maybe even thoughtless.
I don't have kids, never did, but I haven't forgotten how many times I did something that would **** off my parents (like your losing a retainer) and wishing they would accept me for the other smart and good things I did do. You're a competent skateboarder and obviously you have a lot of creativity. So did I. Keeping a retainer seems inconsequential to the bigger picture of who and what we really think we are--how come others don't see the same things? Because, they're paying the bills and we have to learn to follow their rules. I admit, I flunked this lesson in adolescent life. and [QUUOTE]I'll just mess something up. I don't even know why I bother trying to fix my issues, it seems hopeless.
I know why I kept trying--because there were things that really did give me pleasure--even if I couldn't always see them clearly through the haze of depression. There was always some tiny glimmer of joy through it ALL. Even in my most dire moods, I would force myself to feel for a moment what I liked--for me, it was always working on a high school theatre production. I loved theatre--any part of it--if I could be the dust bouncing out of the footlights, I wanted to be in every theatre production. Maybe you have something that gives you the tiniest glimmer...
In the meantime, don't underestimate the seriousness of your sadness and depressive feelings. Parents are not always willing to listen to kids, because a lot of hype is associated with teenage emotions. Our emotions are real. If we feel hurt, we are hurting. Please, if you can't talk to your parents, find a teacher or an adult friend that will listen to you.
AND GET THAT RETAINER ON YOUR TEETH! Even if your dad calls you a moron for loosing the retainer for the third time, own up to your shortcomings and keep your teeth in tact. I had braces, too, and wore the headgear. Can anything be more demoralizing than having to wear that thing???? Warmest regards, Pat