How do I help??? - Dental Health Message Board

kbaygirl · 08-19-2006, 09:32 AM

My husband has very poor oral hygeine. He is a proud, self-made, professional man who has come up from nothing. He was not taught to properly care for his mouth and teeth and, as a result, has very bad breath. He's such a likable guy that even his friends don't have the heart to talk to him about it. As his wife, I don't want to embarrass him, though he will joke about it himself at times. It's not a joke anymore! We have almost no sex life. We are only in our late 30's! I find myself blaming my own decreased libido, when that's clearly not the only problem. He or I have bought numerous mouthwashes, etc. He won't use them! He has a horribly week gag reflex and WILL NOT gargle. What can I do????

Mora · 08-19-2006, 10:46 AM

Oh honey I feel for you and know just where your at! My husband also came from a family of little means and dental care was just never addressed. Then I started workinging for a dental practice. I saw all sorts of patients of every age come in with terrible problems from negelect. I could not pursuade my hubby to get his teeth cleaned...and I worked there! Then one day his face swelled due to a nasty fistula...that did it...but by being closed minded and thinking if it doesn't hurt don't fix it...he ended up with two extractions, one root canal and several large fillings.
There could and very well is alot going on in your hubby's unattended mouth.
All that said, it has been widely researched and proven that the various bacterias in the mouth that make their way into the bloodstream (by way of swollen bleeding gums that surround teeth that are "caked" with plaque and calculus) affect the heart.
My best advice is to be strong and most importantly more stubborn them him! Take a peek at the American Dental Association website and gather your "ammuniton" you will find all the facts you need to plead your case. I send the best of luck to you and by the way... we're still married after 15 yrs. :-)

ChinesePisces · 08-19-2006, 04:51 PM

I can totally agree with you kbaygirl, I dated this girl that smoked ciggarettes alot and she had dragon breath. I would hate having to kiss her. Anyways does he goto the dentist? Do you both have dental insurance or funds to got? If so then you have to try to get him going and have him practice good hygeine(brushing at least twice a day, flossing, and maybe try one of those tounge scrapers on the toothbrush). There also has been clinical studies that people who don't floss are at risk for other diseases(I think I heard it on PBS). Is the reason why you don't have a sex life because of his breath? I mean you are only in your late 30's, there's no reason why you two shouldn't be going at it because coming from a guy it's pretty important in a relationship. Does he even have a clue about how his breath is affecting your lives? Some people say brushing the tounge helps.

kbaygirl · 08-20-2006, 08:12 AM

He has only had his teeth cleaned professionally twice in the ten years we've been together. I know you are supposed to brush two to three times a day, at least, and for two minutes at a time. He brushes once...and for about 10 seconds. We've talked about it a little, but usually he sort of jokes about it and I can't get the nerve to be really serious about it for fear of hurting him. I've even had others say something to me about it because it's so bad. Yes, it's the main reason we have so little sex. It has a little to do with my libido (we had three kids in 7 years), but mostly it's because of this problem. I haven't REALLY kissed him in about a year..just pecks on the lips. He tries to be more cuddly and sweet, thinking that I just need more arousal and I tend to blame myself either for "not wanting it" or for not having the guts to say "you stink and you taste bad!" We have both bought special mouthwashes, tongue cleaners, you name it, but he'll use them a couple of times and that's it. I end up throwing them away. He won't even gargle because of his gag reflex. I'm still very much in love with him and physically attracted to him.

kbaygirl · 08-20-2006, 04:51 PM

OK.....66 of you have read my post regarding my husband's lack of oral hygeine..so, what's up??? HOW DO I TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!!!!!! Help PLEASE!!! My love life is at stake! I've tried everything I can think of!