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Old 02-15-2004, 01:33 AM   #1
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Unhappy I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

hi im a 20 yr old college student w/ depression. i've been on welbutrin for like 5 or 6 yrs and it has helped me a lot. recently tho ive been really depressed and right now ive been crying for the last hour and cant stop. I feel so lonely, i have nobody to talk to. im away at school (2 1/2 hrs away from home) and dont really have any friends here. a few months ago my girlfriend and i broke up...it was my fault and i regret it so much, she was the best girlfriend that anyone could ever ask for and i miss her. its acutally gotten better as the time has gone by (missing her) but now i just feel so alone. i think i have social anxiety disorder (but ive never been diagnosed) so i dont have many friends...i have 1 really good one (back at home) and 1 or 2 others...other than taht i really dont have anyone...and i dont feel comfortable talking to them...last week when i came back to school i went to a party, and i was really proud of myself cuz im usually to scared to put myself in such a socal situation. i met a girl there and we ended up hooking up and i felt really good about it. the next day i went to her dorm to hang out w/ her and she was acting weird. i asked what was wrong and eventually i got it out of her...she said "this is just really weird"...she said she just wanted to "be friends"...i left and went back to my room and started crying...i know i only knew her for like a day (this is part of the reason i feel so stupid) but i REALLY want someone to care about me and i want someone to hang out with and cuddle with...i am so so lonely and i have nobody. today i guess everything cought up w/ me cuz i just started crying and crying...im supposta be in class rite now but i didnt go. I so desperately want a girl (not necessarily girlfriend) that cares about me. i want someone who i can cry to and who will comfort me...i really hate my life rite now b/c i feel so alone. i have nobody to talk to...well i dunno what else to write but if anyone has ne advise id really appriciate it. :*(

 
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Old 02-15-2004, 01:40 AM   #2
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

You need to realize that 20 years old is VERY young, you have your whole life ahead of you & you will meet many, many girls & maybe a lot before you find Ms. Right. Try not to take the break ups so hard, not many people end up with the first or second love of their lives.. I know it's hard being away from home & also not having a good friend to talk to or hang out with.
Breakups can be quite devistating to a person with depression as we already have low self esteem & then we try to think of what WE did wrong, but if we were to look at it clearly & after some time to heal, we can see that it was not necessarily anything we did wrong, it just wasn't the right match up.
Also, if you've been on wellbutrin for that many years & you are having crying spells etc., you may need a change of meds. Eventually, our bodies become tolerant of the AD and it does not work for us anymore. I just went thru that myself, where my AD of almost 7 years quit working, I could tell as I was obsessively worrying beyond control. It is worth talking to your doctor about. good luck.

 
Old 02-15-2004, 04:01 AM   #3
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

First and foremost Id like to say that I don't want to offend the person above me, but I have to say that the WORST thing you can tell this person is that he's young and he'll eventually meet lots of girls because that's exactly what he think it won't happen.

Now, to the original post I have to say that I'm very sorry you're going through this situation, I know it sucks... and you have no idea how much I understand you.

Take care,

SOL
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Old 02-15-2004, 06:27 AM   #4
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

If you are at college, there are free counseling services available on almost every college campus. Make an appointment today. You need to talk to someone, and you will feel better once you voice your concerns to another human being. Breakups are hard no matter what age you are. Talk to your friend back home. I know how much you need someone to hold you. I am 49 and just recently had a breakup. I know that people think that guys are supposed to be strong and take the breakups silently, but guys hurt, too. I have a 22 year old son who had a breakup when he was 18 and has never truly gotten over what happened. He has had other 'girlfriends', but none ever compares with the first one...no matter how good or how badly they treat you. Concentrate on going out to one social thing a week. I'm sure there is a fitness center on campus. Just being around other people will help you. Keep us posted.

 
Old 02-15-2004, 07:08 AM   #5
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

KH-
I had a girlfriend break-up in college similar to yours and it really sucked for awhile. See if your college has a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) program in their Psyche dept. Many do and I think this would help you a great deal as it was what eventually got me off of Antidepressants for good. There are also many great books on CBT and my two favorites are Been there, Done that? Do This! by Sam Obitz and Feeling Good by David Burns.
I also want to mention that I survived the breakup (it was very hard and I saw no girls to compare in my future at the time). But once I got back on my feet I met many that were just as special or better

Billy
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Last edited by billy7772; 02-15-2004 at 07:09 AM.

 
Old 02-15-2004, 09:16 AM   #6
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

The worst thing about depression is that other people do'nt want to be around depressed people. Thats why so many people get good at hiding it. It's hard for other people to like you if you don't like yourself. Those books mentioned above could help a lot with that, and since you are in college, I really recommend taking advantage of the counseling services there.
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Old 02-15-2004, 09:37 PM   #7
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Thank all u guys for all the advice. I've been to theripy and it didn't really help, but the meds did. I dunno y I've been crying so much lately...I stared to make a list of what days i cried (i know that sounds really stupid). Tuesday Feb. 3, Thurs Feb. 5, Sun Feb 8, Tues Feb 10, Thurs Feb 12, Fri Feb 13 (3x). I dont think i have since but I'm still really lonely. i started to do this "online dating site" (i feel really stupid about it) and ive met a lot of girls actually. I know none will compair to Stephanie (my ex). I know you guys are saying in your heads...it just seems that way right now...but u dont know her. She was the best girlfriend, best friend, person every. We were soooooo compatible and she made me happier than i have been in so long. We never fought...I love her so much...DAMMIT NOW IM CRYING AGAIN...what i really want now is just someone to be affectionate w/ (if not more)...i am so so lonely and i just want someone to hold. I hate the fact that i have social anxiety disorder (non diagnosed but trust me...i do) b/c im a good looking guy and i have so much to offer a girl. i know that i should be happy w/ myself even w/o a girlfriend...but im kinda not...i need to have someone there for me. I've never been single for more than a couple months since i was 17!!! (I'm 20 now) I dunno im just so desperate rite now...like a month ago I started cutting myself again (only did it once)...i usta cut [my hand] when i was like 15 or 16...ive done it mabye 8 or 9x before...neway...i knew it was getting bad then cuz i reverted back to doing that...but it was the only thing that could make me feel better. I havent gotten the urge to do it for a while now so thats good...plus in art class he has us draw our hands sometimes and i cant hide it...so i really cant cut...i have an appt w/ my psych. when i go home for spring break and im gonna bring up the S.A.D. and ask about switching meds (altought i really dont think i want to). Also, i havent been studying AT ALL...i dunno if its b/c of the depression or what but i know that thats really bad. Neway ill keep u guys posted and thanks for all the advice.

 
Old 02-17-2004, 12:55 PM   #8
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

KH-
Like Crossbow said take advantage of the counseling services at your college; your fees indirectly pay for them so you may as well use them. See if they have any people who specialize in CBT as it is not like other therapy and I think it may help you a lot. I was never a cutter so I can't give any advice on that; sorry. It is very hard to study when you are depressed so I am sure that is the problem there. You will get through this and find plenty of other girls that compare even though you don't think so now (that's a symptom of being depressed, you can't see things clearly).

Take care

Billy
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Old 02-17-2004, 01:42 PM   #9
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

I do know about cutting. People do it when they feel they have no control over their lives. It's a "coping mechanism," which is a misleading term since it does absolutely nothing to help you cope. There is a self-injury recovery forum on this board, by the way.
[url]http://www.healthboards.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=98[/url]
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Last edited by Crossbow; 02-17-2004 at 01:44 PM.

 
Old 02-17-2004, 02:16 PM   #10
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by f33l h3lpl3ss
If you are at college, there are free counseling services available on almost every college campus. Make an appointment today. You need to talk to someone, and you will feel better once you voice your concerns to another human being. Breakups are hard no matter what age you are. Talk to your friend back home. I know how much you need someone to hold you. I am 49 and just recently had a breakup. I know that people think that guys are supposed to be strong and take the breakups silently, but guys hurt, too. I have a 22 year old son who had a breakup when he was 18 and has never truly gotten over what happened. He has had other 'girlfriends', but none ever compares with the first one...no matter how good or how badly they treat you. Concentrate on going out to one social thing a week. I'm sure there is a fitness center on campus. Just being around other people will help you. Keep us posted.


Reply:

I agree.

I only went to a state college and and I live close by so I still stayed at home. My second year though I had a lot on my mind and became drunk to smooth my problem. I later found out my school offered free counseling services and went to it. They helped me out a tone and everything is confidential.

Keep your head up...there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep going that direction and you'll be fine

 
Old 02-20-2004, 03:42 PM   #11
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
Reply:

I agree.

I only went to a state college and and I live close by so I still stayed at home. My second year though I had a lot on my mind and became drunk to smooth my problem. I later found out my school offered free counseling services and went to it. They helped me out a tone and everything is confidential.

Keep your head up...there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep going that direction and you'll be fine
Excellent advice eightball
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Old 02-23-2004, 10:26 AM   #12
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Unhappy Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Hi. I'm having another bad day. I have 2 tests and 1 project due tommorow...for 3 different classes, all a huge part of my grade, and I haven't done any studying, and don't know anything...But, the reason I'm crying right now is because I just called my ex-girlfriend...she was at work and I called her, she said it was buisy and she was about to go to lunch and couldn't talk...she always blows me off and never wants to talk to me. As soon as we hung up I burst into tears. I miss her so much! Nobody has ever cared about me like she did...and it just hurts so much without her. I want a girlfriend so bad! I can't deal with all the stress in my life with nobody to talk to...and I know everyone is going to say to go see a theripist, I have done that in the past and it didn't help. I need someone who genuenly cares about me. Also, I need someone to share the good in my life with. I just don't know what to do anymore...I'm scared I'm gonna flunk out of school. I am so lonely and I cry almost every day. I have no friends here at school and only a few at home. I'm to scared to go to parties b/c of the S.A.D. My parents are constantly on my back about school. I hate my life so much. I just want someone to love me...I know that I will be able to deal with everything so much better if I have someone, b/c this is how it's been in the past. I was SOOOOOOO happy for the 1 1/2 yrs I was with my ex-girlfriend!!! I hardly EVER got depressed! Now, it's ALL I DO. I'm still crying and I need to study and I don't know what to do anymore.

 
Old 02-23-2004, 10:49 AM   #13
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Dude, you have waaaay bigger problems than not having a girlfriend. You're setting yourself to fail because if you think having a gf will make you happy, you will be even more depressed when you find out that's not true. It's yourself you're not happy with. Another person can't change that. You really have to get into counseling and work this out.
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Old 02-24-2004, 09:18 PM   #14
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crossbow
Dude, you have waaaay bigger problems than not having a girlfriend. You're setting yourself to fail because if you think having a gf will make you happy, you will be even more depressed when you find out that's not true. It's yourself you're not happy with. Another person can't change that. You really have to get into counseling and work this out.
Way to cut to the chase Crossbow. KH I hope you are listening because he nailed it

Billy
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Old 02-25-2004, 10:41 AM   #15
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Re: I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!! Please Help Me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by billy7772
Way to cut to the chase Crossbow. KH I hope you are listening because he nailed it

Billy
"She." And thanks.
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