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Old 03-26-2004, 03:47 PM   #1
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haylee31 HB User
I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

Has anyone ever felt guilty and depressed because of

feeling sorry for yourself? I just keep saying why me why

me? I know there are lots of people worse off than myself

but emotional I feel like I can not take anymore. My

depression stems from { alot } of losses in my life. I am

only 38 by the time I was 13 already had lost two friends

a uncle and my granfather. Then at 17 I lost my father in

my 20's my best friend was murdered my grandma died

2 uncles a aunt and yet another friend. My 30's 2 more

uncles 3 aunts 2 friends then just this past year was a

doozy Jan. 03 I lost a uncle in March 03 I lost my mom

June I lost my sons best friends little brother he was only

4 and was killed from lightining. July yet another friend

died also in July my brother was diagnosed with cirosis ,

congestive heart failure and emphasyma. In Sept. my

aunt and uncle were in a car crash and my aunt died. Also

in Sept. 03 my daughters friend committed suicide and

my sister was diagnosed with some type of heart valve

problem and also empasyma and to end Sept. my great

niece only 3 was diagnosed with the worst type of diabetic

and has had night seizures and almost died. In Oct. a

close neighbor died and in Dec. 03 my dog had puppies

8 of 9 pups died and in Feb.04 we took my precious

2 year old saint benard to be spayed and she died. Now

its March and my husband may have cancer. I am sorry

for all the rambling just needed to get it out I guess the

depression and not knowing how much more I can take

has me about as down as person can get :-( . Haylee

 
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Old 03-26-2004, 04:55 PM   #2
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possum HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

If you didn't feel extreme grief in your situation, you wouldn't be human.

To me it sounds more like your suffering from stress being brought on by external circumstances, rather than "clinical" depression which come from within oneself (due to not being able to deal with emotions appropriately)

I personally think you may need a grief counsellor, but I'm no expert.

No matter what, you should see a health care professional to determine who can help you cope with your situation.

 
Old 03-26-2004, 09:49 PM   #3
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antares_wish HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

I certainly does sound like you've been through a lot in your life and you have my sympathies. Regardless of the cause I too would suggest talking things out with a therapist, it sounds like you've been dealing with this for a long time and they can help you to work through it and move past it. I don't know from the little bit of information that you gave us but you might have a fixation with death. Death is a difficult concept to deal with and many people find themselves unable to cope with the thought to the point that they seem to focus on nothing else.

Last edited by antares_wish; 03-26-2004 at 11:15 PM.

 
Old 03-26-2004, 10:04 PM   #4
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Dance4jc HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

It is natural with all the loss you have experienced to be down, but Possum and Antares Wish are right, you should get someone to talk with. A couselor who specializes in grief could be of great benefit to you. I have been where you are, many losses, not quite as many as you, but still too many for my young years. A therapist has made all the difference for me. Good Luck.
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Old 03-26-2004, 10:17 PM   #5
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Posts: 140
haylee31 HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

Thanks for the reply's think you all are right and a counsler

is what I need. I just started to feel like everyone I love

dies. I know we all have to die sometime its not so much

the death it self is that why so many in such a short time

and so many at young age. I do not have enough time to

grieve one and then its another and then I feel guilt and

depression for feeling that way. I am afraid everday when

I wake up to what may happen next. This past year just

really rocked me hard and has me down in the dumps and

with the recent scare of my husband maybe having cancer.

I guess it was the straw that broke the camels back for me

I am going to check into getting some help first thing

Monday. Thanks again and I apologize for my rambling.

Haylee

 
Old 03-27-2004, 12:29 AM   #6
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lori j HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

Your story is about as horrendous as anyones could be. Yes, get to a counselor, you definitely should not feel guilty for feeling sorry for yourself. I don't know how you've made it this far without seeking help thru counseling or meds. Do yourself a favor, do not suffer thru this any longer without some professional help.

 
Old 03-27-2004, 03:49 AM   #7
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haylee31 HB User
Re: I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself

I have not ever had counsling before guess maybe I

should have my husband has been my rock for 22 years.

somehow with his support I was able to deal with my grief.

With him now being ill I have to be the rock for him and

there is no one for me to lean on for support. Think that

is when I started crying out { why me } with him I felt

I could tackle whatever was going to happen next . Now

to have to be the strong one feel like I will be a failure and

not be able to be strong for him when he needs me most.

I am very afraid and depressed :-{

 
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